A Poem…A Prayer

Screaming, crying, groaning within
Longing for the greatness
That was deposited within me
Long before I was born
…To manifest itself

Reaching, grasping, stretching
Eager to touch something
That I can connect with
Something that will fuse
With who I am

I long to be
Greatness
I long to be
Shining
I long to be
Full and vibrant and soaring

Yet…how
How do I get there?
I’ve tried ‘this’
I’ve tried ‘that’
When will the dots connect?
When will I have the “a-ha” moment?
When will all things align aright?

God, do you hear my cry?
You filled me with these dreams
You placed something inside of me
That needs to be
Bigger

Something inside of me
That needs to be
Giving
Touching lives beyond myself
Bringing the world hope

Perhaps I cannot see the forest for the trees
Perhaps I’m in the middle of some great plan
That’s forming
And turning
And moving
All around me

I’m integrated into the plan
But because I’m so entrenched in the inner workings
I cannot see the big picture
Yes,
The big picture

You, my Lord, are the Great Artist.
You are forming a masterpiece of my life.
You are molding, firing, glazing
You are painting with little strokes, then big
You are chiseling and sanding

Yes you are making
Me
A Masterpiece

I yield to your hand
I yield to your expertise
I yield to your passion
To your plan
To your vision
Yes, this great longing inside me
Has purpose

I will move with your unction
I will keep trying new things
I will keep reaching out to help others
I will keep creating

And I will trust YOU
To bring to fruition the finished work
And I will gaze in awe
At the Mastery of your hands.

Amen

© Copyright 2012 kdcorner / K.D. “Masterpiece”

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dealing With Grief

We all experience loss in life.  It can range from experiencing the death of a loved one, to the death of a relationship/friendship, or ‘death’ of a certain season in life (ex. job loss, a child growing up and leaving, etc.). And because of experiencing loss, whether the loss is expected or unexpected, we go through stages of grief.  It’s completely normal.  While experiencing the grief process, you may sometimes feel as though you’ve gone “loopy”.  But if you become knowledgeable (or remind yourself) of the stages of the grief cycle, then it tends to be easier to recognize which stage you’re in and helps you to realize that what you’re going through is okay. 

Sometimes when loss happens, well-meaning family or friends will tell you to “get over it” or “get on with life” or “you shouldn’t still feel that”.  They really do mean well.  They just want you to “snap out of it” and get back to your “normal” self.  The trouble is, when loss happens, you don’t go back to how you were before the incident.  But, you create a “new normal” that takes into account your experience of loss.  Yes, there are extremes on both sides. People can “stuff” grief down inside and decide to never fully deal with it.  Or sometimes people can stay stuck in a lifetime of misery, never allowing themselves to fully go through their cycle of grief and come out on the other side of it. 

Let’s briefly go through the stages of grief here:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

The important thing to know is that it does NOT always happen in linear order.  You may not go through certain stages. Or you may experiences some stages simultaneously.  Or you may even circle back around to certain stages you already have been through. But, let yourself go through the stages at your own pace.  Also, if you need to, reach out to certain family or friends who will be supportive as you go through this process, and not try to rush you through it.  You may also choose to seek out a professional counselor. That is nothing to be ashamed of.  Take your time to find the right counselor for you.  You may also try talking about things with your family doctor.

Please visit this link which goes through each stage of grief in-depth.  Take the time to really read through and understand each stage.  Link:  http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ .

One last thing…IF you are experiencing grief and feel at all suicidal please DO NOT end your life!  You are meant to be here.  You are beautiful and special and precious & God loves you!!!  You matter to me!  Please call the suicide hotline so that you can talk to someone to help you through this.  They have resources that will help you with your individual situation.  
SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255.  

Sidebar: I even heard on the radio the other day that for soldiers suffering from PTSD and battle depression and/or suicidal thoughts consistently, there are breakthrough procedures and medications available.  But you don’t have to be suffering from PTSD.  You can any person who suffers from depression.  Depression is a very real thing that people go through and you don’t have to feel ashamed. For help, encouragement, information & suggestions please listen to this radio show. Here’s the link to the radio show: http://www.moodyradio.org/radioplayer.aspx?episode=91779&hour=2  (the show is a Christian show, but, even if you’re not a Christian don’t let that deter you from listening.)  There is LOTS of good information shared that will help you with depression and bipolar disorder and other areas.  Also if you would like to visit the radio guest’s website, it is here:  http://drlindamintle.com/?s=depression .

God bless you! ♥

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Confessions of a Worrywart

Hi, my name is K. and I’m a worrywart.  Not proud of it.  I wonder if it’s genetic.  My mom worries a lot.  And yes, it’s easier to pin the blame on genetics.  I don’t even know if it’s possible to pass on the tendency to worry.  I do believe that worry can definitely can be a learned response.  It can also be part of our individual make up…how our minds work.  In any case, yes, I worry.  I often feel guilty about it, being a Christian and all.  God continuously admonishes us who believe, not to worry.  Why? Because He has everything under control…even if it appears otherwise.

When did I realize I had a tendency to worry?  Hmm… it had to be in my teens.  I would worry about what to wear.. if it looked stupid, if people would laugh at me, if the guy(s) would like me, if I would say the right thing(s).  That may be common to most teenagers.  But, as I grew older and life happened, I realized that it was hard for me to not mull things over, and over, and over… you get the picture.  I think that partially this is because trust is a hard thing for me.  Like you, I’ve been disappointed a time or two.  Mine were major disappointments that dealt with abandonment by people who were dearly loved and trusted.  So, I remember deciding after the first major disappointment that I could trust no one. And so I didn’t.  Everyone had their level or their limit – the amount which I decided to trust them.  When they reached that limit, I would go no further.

This anti-trust attitude, unfortunately, carried over to my relationship with God.  It’s hard for me to trust Him.  After all, I can’t physically see Him.  And I had felt like He’d let me down a time or two.  Over the years, I’ve deepened in my faith and I’m deepenING in my level of trust toward God.  Yes “-ING” (i.e. still in process).  But, one thing I’ve learned about God for myself is that He is trustworthy.  I can honestly say, He’s been there for me always.  He’s never left.  I’ve always felt His presence in my life.  Even when I’ve screwed up royally, His love was there to envelop me.

The thing I think that is most challenging about my personality is that I like to be in control.  Let me explain.  I like to know everything that’s going on before it happens.  Or at least I’d like an outline of how life is going to go.  I’m a “details” person. Tell me step-by-step how this is going to go, so that I can be prepared for whatever life throws at me.  And, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) that’s not how life works.  It works quite the opposite most of the time.  So, I’ve had to learn and am still learnING that no matter what happens – good, bad or indifferent, God is never leaving me.  He’s with me in the midst of all phases of life.  I’m not alone in this process.  So, knowing that helps me to worry a little less and a little less as time goes by.  Am I fully delivered from worry?  Nope.  But I am getting there. 🙂  Toodles! ♥

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Power of Song – part 3 of 3

Thank you for journeying with me in this mini-series on the power of song.  I’ve enjoyed choosing songs that have been very uplifting, healing and inspirational to me…and I hope to you, too.  I hope it has caused you to think about the power that songs  have to cheer, console and uplift us whenever we need a bit of encouragement.  I love to hear some of your favorites!

The last song I’ve chosen is from a CD that has gotten me through many, many hard times. I played this CD so much, that I began to feel like the artist/singer was my best friend.  Not kidding. 🙂  I knew every word to almost every single song (especially my favorites) and it helped me to keep my faith in tact through some very rough circumstances that were going on over a period of years.  This song is unapologetically gospel.  Even if you do not believe in Christ as savior or Lord, you may find something about it that encourages you…such as the chords, melody, harmonies, tone or warmth of the song.  God bless you.

The song: Thank You Lord (For Being There For Me) – by Fred Hammond and Radical for Christ

Lyrics Below.  Video Link –>  Click Here  (if any of you had trouble with the link at first, I fixed it. Should work now.)

[Chorus]
Thank You Lord for being there for me, for me
I’ve gotta say thank You Lord for being there for me
Seemed like I was going down, but Your love came in and rescued me
Wanna thank You Lord for being there for me
Wanna thank You Lord for being there for me

[Repeat Chorus 1x]

[Channel A]
Now if it had not been for the Lord who
Who was on our side
There is no way that I could make it no
So I come to say
I just want to thank You
Thank You Lord for being there for me, ooh, ooh
Thank You Lord for being there for me, ooh, ooh

[Channel B]
For life and health and strength I’m grateful
For life abundantly I wanna say thank You
For being a partaker of Your grace you know I’m grateful
For receiving Your mercy daily I wanna say thank You
For keeping my loved ones safe You know I’m grateful
 For allowing my next breathe to take
I just want to say I’m grateful, I thank You
You see I can say it and you can say it and she can say it and he can say it
Thank You

[Vamp A]
Thank You Jesus, thank You Jesus, thank You
Thank You Jesus, thank You Jesus
Thank You
Thank You Jesus
Thank You
I wanna say thank You

[Repeat Vamp A 2x]

[Vamp B]
Thank You Jesus, thank You Jesus, thank You
Thank You Jesus, thank You Jesus
Thank You
Thank You Jesus
Thank You
I just want to say I’m grateful I thank You
Thank You Lord for being there, for being there for me, ooh, ooh
Thank You Lord for being there
Thank You Lord for being there for me

The Power of Song – Part 2 of 3

Ok, so this is part two of a mini-series on the power songs have to influence us.  My focus is on how music encourages us.  Today’s song speaks to me a story of a person (a woman, but it could apply to a man’s struggle as well) who perhaps has been in some bad relationships.  She’s given of herself to others beyond capacity and tried to please others to her own detriment.  She’s a fighter.  She has pushed through tough times and had to fend for herself to survive.  She’s incurred many bruises and many scars along the way, and has had to hold it all together.  Healing and being able to love again is something that took time, but, in the end she was able to give and receive love again.  Perhaps this speaks to you as it has to me.  Many of us have been through some bad experiences, but, we can heal from them, and experience good things in our futures.  As the song says “It’ll be alright again.” It’s a really powerful song.  It could mean something unique and different to you, but, give a listen to “Little Miss” by Sugarland.

Lyrics below & also in the youtube video.  Here’s the video link –> Little Miss

“Little Miss”

Little miss down on love
Little miss, I give up
Little miss, I’ll get tough, don’t you worry about me anymore
Little miss checkered dress
Little miss, one big mess
Little miss, I’ll take less when I always give so much more

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose ’til you win
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
It’ll be alright again
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay (I’m okay)
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay

Little miss, do your best
Little miss, never rest
Little miss, be my guest, I’ll make more anytime that it runs out
Little miss, you’ll go far
Little miss, hide your scars
Little miss, who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose ’til you win
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
It’ll be alright again
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay (I’m okay)
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay

Hold on
Hold on, you are loved
Are loved…

Little miss, brand new start
Little miss, do your part
Little miss, big old heart beats wide open and she’s ready now for love

It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose ’til you win
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
It’ll be alright again
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay
It’ll be alright again, I’m okay (I’m okay, it’ll be alright again)
I’m okay! (It’ll be alright again)

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Power of Song – part 1 of 3

This is the first of a 3 parter where I’m going to share 3 of my favorite songs. Why?  Because their melodies & lyrics are examples of the power songs have to give us hope, courage, faith…to lift us up when we’re down or put a spring in our step.  You know how it feels when you hear your favorite song on the radio!  It feels amazing!  You crank it up, you sing along, maybe a little air guitar or air drums are being played.  There is music to fit all of our moods.  We listen to happy music when we’re happy, or listen to a mournful tune while sad, or a party song when we’re getting ready to go out on the town.  Music is so powerful. I love all kinds of music from classical, classic rock, R & B, reggae, latin, alternative, jazz, old school rap, pop…and something I thought I’d never, ever in a million years like…yep, country. I cannot tell you how I used to loathe country music as a child. But, as an adult, I have gained an appreciation for it. Much of it is heartfelt, and wholesome. They’re not afraid to mention God and faith in their songs. And many of the songs are about life, and they many times tell a story.  My selection today is from a more modern country group, Rascal Flatts.  Before you skeptics roll your eyes (Lol) , just give it a chance. 🙂  This song is about how people give of themselves to help, save, bless, encourage others. I personally sing this song to God, because I feel like everyday God saves my life – helps me through the tough times, keeps me encouraged.  And there are plenty of people who come to mind as I listen that have been a blessing to me.  I only hope I am a blessing to others as well.

Here’s the link to the video:  Every Day
And here are the lyrics.
Feel free to follow along:

You could’ve bowed out gracefully, but you didn’t
You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone, but you wouldn’t
I drive myself crazy trying to stay out of my own way
the messes that I’ve made, but my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me, yeah you get me
It’s amazing to me

How every day, every day, every day
you save my life

I come around all broken down and crowded out, in your comfort
Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate
I don’t know, I don’t know

How every day, every day, every day
you save my life.

Sometimes I swear I don’t know if I’m comin’ or goin’
 But you always say something without even knowin’
That I’m hanging onto your words with all of my might
And it’s alright
Yeah, I’m alright
For one more night
Every day

Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day, every day
You save me, you save me ..ohhh
La, la, la… (every day, every-every-every day)
Every day, you save my life.

*Be blessed. 🙂

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Quiet in the Midst of the Storm

Ever felt closed in on all sides? One problem on top of another, slowly building into a crooked Jenga tower (ever played that game?).  At some point you know it’s all going to come crashing down, and when it does…a mess of Jenga blocks (problems) everywhere.  What do you do?  How do you handle?  Do you confide in a friend?  Meditate? Go have a drink? Cry your eyes out?  Maybe you sit in the corner of the room and rock yourself till you feel better?  Do you exercise or read a book?

Perhaps you have tried praying and feel like God is far away?  I have felt that way sometimes. But something in me knows he’s there.  At some point after you pray, have you ever had a friend text or call you at random about some miscellaneous topic…and then you end up talking to them about your problems …and it helps you feel better?  Have you perhaps picked up the Bible or a favorite book and something speaks to you to encourage you to hang in there for one more minute/hour/day? Or maybe you turned the TV on at precisely the right time or flipped to the right channel to hear/see something that gave you a boost?

When you pray to God in the midst of your storm, he does hear you.  He may not answer you audibly (it’s rare), but, he does answer…in any of the above mentioned ways and more.  God can use people, books, billboards, songs, TV shows, articles, prayer, the Bible, nature or any other creative way to answer you and give you peace…and quiet…in the midst of your storm, to help you each time. Be encouraged today.

PS- Here’s an inspirational song that might strengthen you today called “Everything Falls” : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk4A5647xHw