We all experience loss in life. It can range from experiencing the death of a loved one, to the death of a relationship/friendship, or ‘death’ of a certain season in life (ex. job loss, a child growing up and leaving, etc.). And because of experiencing loss, whether the loss is expected or unexpected, we go through stages of grief. It’s completely normal. While experiencing the grief process, you may sometimes feel as though you’ve gone “loopy”. But if you become knowledgeable (or remind yourself) of the stages of the grief cycle, then it tends to be easier to recognize which stage you’re in and helps you to realize that what you’re going through is okay.
Sometimes when loss happens, well-meaning family or friends will tell you to “get over it” or “get on with life” or “you shouldn’t still feel that”. They really do mean well. They just want you to “snap out of it” and get back to your “normal” self. The trouble is, when loss happens, you don’t go back to how you were before the incident. But, you create a “new normal” that takes into account your experience of loss. Yes, there are extremes on both sides. People can “stuff” grief down inside and decide to never fully deal with it. Or sometimes people can stay stuck in a lifetime of misery, never allowing themselves to fully go through their cycle of grief and come out on the other side of it.
Let’s briefly go through the stages of grief here:
The important thing to know is that it does NOT always happen in linear order. You may not go through certain stages. Or you may experiences some stages simultaneously. Or you may even circle back around to certain stages you already have been through. But, let yourself go through the stages at your own pace. Also, if you need to, reach out to certain family or friends who will be supportive as you go through this process, and not try to rush you through it. You may also choose to seek out a professional counselor. That is nothing to be ashamed of. Take your time to find the right counselor for you. You may also try talking about things with your family doctor.
Please visit this link which goes through each stage of grief in-depth. Take the time to really read through and understand each stage. Link: http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ .
One last thing…IF you are experiencing grief and feel at all suicidal please DO NOT end your life! You are meant to be here. You are beautiful and special and precious & God loves you!!! You matter to me! Please call the suicide hotline so that you can talk to someone to help you through this. They have resources that will help you with your individual situation.
SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255.
Sidebar: I even heard on the radio the other day that for soldiers suffering from PTSD and battle depression and/or suicidal thoughts consistently, there are breakthrough procedures and medications available. But you don’t have to be suffering from PTSD. You can any person who suffers from depression. Depression is a very real thing that people go through and you don’t have to feel ashamed. For help, encouragement, information & suggestions please listen to this radio show. Here’s the link to the radio show: http://www.moodyradio.org/radioplayer.aspx?episode=91779&hour=2 (the show is a Christian show, but, even if you’re not a Christian don’t let that deter you from listening.) There is LOTS of good information shared that will help you with depression and bipolar disorder and other areas. Also if you would like to visit the radio guest’s website, it is here: http://drlindamintle.com/?s=depression .
God bless you! ♥