Only The Lonely

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Most people who deal with this don’t like to admit it, but they’re lonely.
There are a lot of lonely folks in this world. We don’t know the half of it.
We don’t know how many people lie awake at night, in their own private misery. We don’t see people behind closed doors when tears are streaming from their eyes, and their shoulders are heaving from heavy guttural sobs. We don’t see the person curled up under their covers, wishing something…anything could take away the loneliness that they feel. It’s a real feeling. Many times the very person you see who looks like they have it all together, or the person with a smile on their face, is the very same person who suffers from loneliness and maybe depression.

I’m not writing with the cure. I don’t think that there is a one-size-fits-all cure. But, I am writing to say that you are not alone. I am here and this wordpress community is here. I understand. I’m here to tell you to hold on. You’ll make it through this. But don’t try to do it by yourself. God loves you. You can pray to him.  Or you may only have 1 person in your life that cares, but, that’s 1 person that counts. Those people are a gift.  Some practical things you can do to stave off loneliness?  You might  try involving yourself in a recreational activity that you enjoy. Try to find joy in simple everyday things like, the smile of a friend, the sunshine, birds singing, a feel-good story on TV,  a good book or a favorite song. Try  projecting outwardly instead of shutting down inwardly by reaching out to help others (whether in the form of writing, volunteering, coaching sports, tutoring, etc.). And on the days when you need to cry, go ahead.

But, if your loneliness becomes too much for you to bear on your own, then there’s no shame in getting some outside help. Maybe see your doctor or a counselor. Sometimes a counselor can help guide us to the root of our feelings to help resolve them. Or sometimes there is something medically wrong that alters our moods and we don’t know if we don’t reach out to get that help from a physician. Never feel ashamed. If you are taking healthy steps to make sure you’re getting what you need to be your best, then you should feel proud of yourself.

Sending you a virtual hug & a song:
You are not alone – Michael Jackson

You are loved!

© 2013 “Only The Lonely” KD Corner / K.D.

Photo credit: youthvoices.net / google images

Reset

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Review
Re-assess
Revamp
Remove
Re-prioritize

Reset.

There are times in our lives when things become cluttered… kind of like our garage or our basement or that one junk drawer or cabinet.  We accumulate things, feelings, attitudes, ways of doing things, habits, that may just be taking up extra space in our lives. There may be things that are not-so-healthy for us that we may need to cut out.  There may be other things we just need to scale back on. We may need to re-discipline ourselves to use our time and talents more wisely.  Perhaps there are people with whom we are attached, that at first may have been okay, but now, we realize ‘hey, this may not be the healthiest of situations’.  Or perhaps the season for which you’ve joined with that person/those people has passed or is now altered somehow.  Whatever the case may be, it’s always good to do a periodic reset.  Maybe it’s turning of your cell for a while, detoxing yourself from social media, or taking more time to sit / think / pray / meditate.  Maybe for you, it’s literally cleaning out the clutter in your home, car or office.  But, whatever you need to do and however you go about it, take time to do this for yourself.

It’s always good to make sure you re-assess where you are on a consistent basis (maybe just once a year, or more frequently if you feel the need).  When we re-assess and reset, things tend to become clearer, cleaner, less foggy.  Perhaps you may only need to readjust a few small things.  Or maybe you’ll need to do a major overhaul.  Whatever the case may be, when we clear out the clutter, we can better see what direction to take next… whether to continue on the same path, but, with clearer purpose…or to begin on a new path.

I hope & pray that as you seek to reset, that you will find clarity of purpose and vision.

Blessings.

© KD Corner / K.D. “Reset”

Photo credit: morguefile.com (Rcastillon)

Self-Check: Are You Negative & Don’t Know It?

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Self-Check: Are You Negative & Don’t Know It?

Every now and again, I find it necessary to do what I call a “self-check”, to see if I’m “out of balance” in any one area. For me personally, usually through prayer and reading the bible, I’m able to better reflect on myself and my actions. For you, it may be a similar or different method.  In any case, today, we’ll talk about negativity.

I think we all have the propensity to be negative sometimes.  It’s part of the normal course of human emotional responses.  The problem comes when we’re negative MOST of the time.  Adding onto this, it’s a problem if you’re negative most of the time…and don’t realize it.  I’m sure we all know negative people.  And we probably tend to distance ourselves from them (or should), if possible, for our own emotional health and well-being.

But, how do you know if YOU are the negative person? Here is a checklist I came up with. It’s not all-inclusive and certainly not ‘expert’ in nature. These are just some things I think can be self-check points. Ask yourself the following:

1. Do I have the tendency to complain more often than not?

2. Do I have a habit of talking badly about people (snide comments, gossiping, taking verbal ‘jabs’ at people whether they can hear me or not) instead of saying something good, or nothing at all?

3. Do I always see the ‘problem’ instead of the ‘solution’?

4. Do I tend to create mountains out of mole hills (do I make small issues into big ones) most of the time?

5. If there is NO problem, do I tend to CREATE a problem in order to have something to complain about?

6. Am I more comfortable complaining, than just being at peace or being happy?

7. Do I feel like I’m ‘never satisfied’?

8. Is my outlook generally one of the glass (of life) being half empty instead of half full (do I tend to see the bad more often than the good)? Am I more often pessimistic instead of optimistic?

9. Is it difficult for me to compliment people, to smile or celebrate a good event?

10. Do I feel as though life is generally ‘bad’? Do I feel as though people are generally ‘bad’?

11. Do I tend toward being judgmental?

Some of these questions are similar in nature, but, they are all to get you thinking about how you react  or think “most of the time”.  If you feel that you answered most of these questions in the affirmative, you could possibly be a negative person.  Again, this list is not all-inclusive or definitive in nature. It is more to get you thinking.

Sources of negativity can be varied.  From what I’ve learned and observed, negativity can creep in for various reasons or it can be a learned pattern (especially if it was modeled in the home or elsewhere on a consistent basis). Or it can be rooted in fear.

What should you do if you realize that you have a tendency toward being negative? It can be as easy as watching your reaction or your speech and consciously making efforts to change. Or it can be as serious as perhaps getting some professional counseling to help you figure out the root cause of it and give you tools for ridding the negative patterns from your life.  But whatever the case, do not be ashamed.  We all struggle with something. And doing regular self-checks can be good to do on a routine basis.

Here are some resources for you:
1. How to Deal With Negative People
2. Are You A Positive or Negative Person (includes strategies to combat negativity)
3. Book: Happiness Is A Choice – Minirth/Maier

Disclaimer: I am not a professional counselor. These are just life observations and personal life lessons I wanted to share. You are entitled to your own opinion. And I always encourage everyone to do their own research on any subject matter. That said, I hope something said here has been helpful to you and/or your loved ones.

Blessings to you!

© 2013 “Self-Check: Are You Negative & Don’t Know It?” KD Corner / K.D. author
Photo source: here

Love

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Love

We all need it

We all want it

We all cherish it in its truest form

It’s risky

There are no guarantees in love

But many times it’s a risk worth taking

When love breaks your heart

It can be hard to go on

But, don’t forget

Your heavenly father loves you infinitely

His love never fails

And He will fill you up again.

~ K.D. ♥

2 songs:

1. Your Love Never Fails

2. Love by Musiq Soulchild

 

©2013 Love – K.D. / KD Corner

Photo credit: here

 

 

Come See A Man

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“Come see a man who told me everything I ever did….” – John 4:29a

Even in the midst of our mess, God talks to us.  We are not forgotten.
The story from which I took this quote, is a story where Christ asks a woman for water to drink – a woman who he wasn’t supposed to talk to, according to Jewish customs – and proceeds to reveal to her in a loving way, the mess in her life. Not to make her feel bad. But so He could help her change it for the better. Oh, there are so many points I could bring out with this passage. But, I’d like to concentrate on this…

God knows where we are.
He loves us anyway.
He comes to help us.

He knows our struggles, failures, ‘white lies’, big fat lies, compromises, lack of faith, when we turn away from him, etc.
But, if we come to God, he doesn’t leave us hanging. The answer may not be instantaneous, but it comes.
And it often comes at a time when we’re most likely to pay attention.

This has happened for me today.
I’ve been in a prolonged season/period of testing, trials, etc.
I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions, bargaining, reasoning, getting angry, rebelling, denial, etc.
Most recently, as I continued to go to church (at least once a week), and read my bible (though not every day), and pray (alllllll of the time…although I’m pretty sure that a lot of it was just complaining), God has really been kind to speak to me.

Last week I heard a message about the life of King David. The point was brought out that though the beginning of David’s pathway to kingship may have seemed obscure, pointless, and like a long winding road….God had a purpose for each place in his journey toward becoming King. It was THEN, God opened my understanding to realize that all I have been through and all that I’m enduring now has a purpose….an ultimate end…a reason bigger than myself.

I have finally begun to come to a place of “contentment”. The bible says “be content in whatever state you’re in” (Phil. 4:11). I was fighting this lesson tooth and nail. I’d already done the ‘contentment thing’. It was time for a change! Time for blessing! I had BIG DREAMS that needed to come true IMMEDIATELY! I had God-given dreams!  Enough is enough (I reasoned)! I was trying and praying and clawing and grasping and determined to MAKE the dreams happen. But, I was blocked every time. God would encourage me TO dream, but, I had my OWN agenda and way that I thought things should be going…especially at this point in life.
But then, He began to speak to me about contentment. FINALLY I’m beginning to receive it.

Then TODAY, I heard the ending of a radio program that addressed this very thing. Ohhhhh, how I needed it. This spoke DIRECTLY to me. God used this woman on the radio program and told me ‘everything I ever did’. In essence, He reached me right where I was (am).  It was perfect timing to really strengthen and undergird what God has recently been revealing to me and re-teaching me about life, timing, trials, contentment. I really needed to hear this because recently I’d begun to become disillusioned as I thought my life should be “better” by now.  My sins of impatience and forging ahead with my OWN plan (instead of flowing with God’s plan) were exposed.   And through this radio program, I gladly received the healing balm of the words being spoken. The message of love not only convicted me, but comforted me (to know I was not alone), and strengthened me (to know I’m on the right track, learning to be content and trust God in the midst of difficult situations, trust His ways & timing). God says His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9).  “In this world, you WILL have trouble. But TAKE HEART (that is, be encouraged!), I (Christ) have OVERCOME THE WORLD!” And if we trust in Him, we too, with Him, have also overcome. Remember this whole thing has a bigger purpose than you can imagine. ♥

Here is the link to the radio program I heard. PLEASE LISTEN AND BE BLESSED.
If you want to skip all of the beginning talk, to get to the ‘meat’ of the program, it starts at 6:25.
>> Interview with Dr. Lina Abujamra <<
The speaker / author is Dr. Lina Abujamra.
Her book is “Stripped: When God’s Call Turns from ‘YES’ to ‘Why Me?'”. Title…so apropos.

Be blessed and refreshed as with a drink of cool water in a parched and weary land! Love to all!

© 2013 “Come See A Man” by KD Corner / K.D.