Sometimes things affect us deeply without us realizing it. It could be that the passing comment of a family member, friend or coworker that you initially took in stride, really struck the chord of a sensitive place inside of you where you were once deeply wounded and still haven’t found complete healing.
It could be that seeing certain things can trigger these emotions as well. For example, perhaps if you’ve been single for a while and have wanted a mate, and seeing couples cuddle or hug can silently remind you that you don’t have that special someone that you desire. Or if you’ve recently have been through a bad break up, seeing the same romantic couple can elicit feelings of pain or regret.
Perhaps if you’ve wanted a child or have lost a child, seeing a mom with a newborn or families with children can cause pangs of heartbreak or longing, depending. Or maybe you’ve wanted a new job, a promotion, or to relocate, etc and you see visible reminders that others may be attaining these things while you are not, it can cause some inner turmoil.
You may even genuinely be happy for the people who are experiencing joyful life events, and for the people who have achieved certain goals personally and/or professionally. You may have taken great personal strides to heal from any hurts or disappointments in these areas of life, but sometimes, without warning, certain things trigger those wounded feelings.
Maybe you’ve experienced something traumatic such as the death of a loved one. And though you’ve grieved on some level, there are still unresolved feelings surrounding that person’s passing or maybe parts of the relationship you never fixed and you have regrets. Or perhaps you stuffed down your feelings in order to cope, but never have really dealt with the grieving process in its entirety. And there are things that even today still trigger unresolved feelings where that person or event is concerned.
These “triggers” can throw us for a loop. They affect us unawares. They can sometimes blindside us. And before we know it, we are “reacting” to the triggers. We are “acting out” in ways that are not like us normally. Why? Because we are trying to cope with the emotions that came bubbling to the surface quite unexpectedly and are disrupting our normal patterns of thought and behavior. These emotions are causing us to have irrational reactions to normal daily events. These unexpected eruptions can throw us into a tizzy and we don’t know how to deal. We just want to get back to ‘normal’ and make uncomfortable feelings go away.
What to do? Just ignore it until it goes away? You could. But this will likely not be so successful or it will grant short-term success. Until you address head on these emotions you’re feeling, they will continue to haunt you or continue to affect you with the same severity and intensity, yet without resolution.
How should you resolve? First, acknowledge what’s happening and how you feel. Don’t stuff it down or ignore it. Sometimes all it may take is some soul searching, some acknowledging and some decisions to let go of a certain thing. Other times it may take repeated and concentrated effort to obtain healing. Sometimes it may require intense and professional assistance to work through your feelings and disarm these triggers. Quality professional counseling or advice from a qualified doctor may be the assistance you need. Nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re a person of faith, then tapping into your faith may aid in assisting you through this process. My advice is not to ignore these triggers long term. It can only cause repeated and more intense issues down the road.
[Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and opinions based on life experiences. I am not a professional. This writing is only meant to provide encouragement and insight. Always do your own research and seek out the advice of a professional for matters such as these.]
Original post on https://iamkaydee1.wordpress.com and reposted on Facebook.com/kaydeethoughts
Copyright 2015 KD Corner “Trigger Points – Finding Healing”