Parenting by Kay Dee (@i.am.kaydee)
Parenting is never boring! It’s the adventure that keeps on giving (even sometimes when you wish it wouldn’t. Lol.) And if we’re receptive (have open hearts) we can learn so much from the experience.
Children, no matter the age, have this uncanny way of causing us to face ourselves…a humbling experience I assure you. They also have the ability to draw out of us a love so deep and so strong that the intensity of that love often surprises us.
Although there are a multitude of resources available on the subject of parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all formula for being the perfect parent. You will make mistakes. It’s just a fact. But, you will also do many things right. You will learn many lessons as a parent, so, be open to the process. In parenting, you will learn to rediscover through your child’s eyes the innocence, the awe and the wonder of this world. You’ll also find that there are often times you have to: eat our own words, apologize, be firm (though you may want to do the opposite), let go (as they grow), be supportive (even when you don’t agree), and spend thankless hours cooking, cleaning, driving (chauffeuring), nursing sickness, consoling hurt feelings or broken hearts, and so much more. You will at times be too hard on your kids, and at times too soft (enabling). It takes a while to find a balance. Don’t be too hard on yourself. At times, you will be underappreciated and overly stressed. You’ll wonder how you will make it through certain situations, but, hang in there. Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint.
In their teen years, you may wonder what ‘alien being’ snatched your little love muffin and replaced them with a ‘meany-pants’ that you may often want to run and tackle for being mouthy or attitudinal. In these years you will re-learn what it is to love them unconditionally. They will need that love (even if they act like they don’t). I promise your love muffin will return…but it will take some time, so, hunker down and gather reinforcements (i.e. other parents who can relate, fun hobbies to reduce stress, counseling, etc.) as you weather the teen years. If you are fortunate enough to have an uncommonly pleasant teen, count your blessings and know that is not the norm. Lol. Teen years are an onslaught of hormones they’re trying to figure out how to manage, plus they’re learning how to assert their independence. This is the season when much negotiating will go on. Stand firm on some things, be more lenient on others. Pick your battles. Slowly begin to allow them to be independent people to begin to prepare them for young adulthood.
Lastly, sometimes there will be hurt or offense or misunderstanding between you and your children during this parenting journey. But, there will also be opportunities to mend fences, apologize, talk, heal. Take those opportunities! Do not let them pass by. Your children will need you differently at different phases of their lives, but, they still need you. Here’s to parenthood. Much love!
~ Kay Dee
copyright 2018, ‘Ode to Parenting’ by Kay Dee for Life Together with Kaydee / and @i.am.kaydee IG