Finding a Unicorn – Dating in your 30’s and Beyond

Let’s face it, dating these days is all kinds of strange. Whenever this topic comes up in discussion, I keep telling people that the culture has shifted.  It’s a “hook-up culture” encompassing all ages. Not many want a committed monogamous relationship anymore.  It’s sad.

I should have started by saying that I know a lot of women in their 30’s and beyond, who are phenomenal single women, myself included.  We have good jobs, some of us are amazing single moms, some of us are amazing non-moms, professional, gifted, stable, can hold an intelligent conversation, have varied interests, aren’t crazy, the list goes on.  The main things we have in common are how phenomenal we are, and our single status.  This is not for lack of trying.  Oh no.  We try.  We date.  And we come across insane amounts of foolishness in the process.  It’s hard out here in these proverbial streets.

It used to be when folks got to be of a certain age, they would want to “settle down”.  This has become an outdated notion to many.  Career comes first.  Or maybe they tried at love early on, and had a failed long-term relationship (with or without kids) and they’re not looking for another.  But, I submit to you that there are still plenty of us out here who would like to find a compatible life partner.  I know this post isn’t speaking to everybody, but, I’m just telling you what I know.

For me personally, add on top of this, wanting to find a guy who shares my faith.  Honey, it’s like trying to find a doggone unicorn.  You’d think, “Oh just find a guy in church.”  My answer… “Hahahahahahahaha….ha….ha….hahaha…HA!”  Unfortunately, many churches are geared only toward these 3 main ministries:  Married Couples, Children/Teens and YOUNG Singles.  That’s it.  Not middle aged or older singles.  Not divorced singles. Not widowed singles.  So there ya go.  And if by chance we do meet a church guy that we want to go out with, they have commitment issues too, or also just want to play games and waste time. We have stories, but, I will spare you them.

So, what to do?  Try dating sites/apps?  We try them.  Intermittently.  They suck.

I have unofficially decided that maybe it’s just U.S. culture and I need to leave the country? Can’t be sure of this, though.  I need to discuss more with my international friends.  Anyway, this a rant for rant’s sake.  I welcome Commiseration or Solutions only.  Blessings!

Kay Dee

©2019, I AM KAYDEE “Finding a Unicorn – Dating in your 30’s and Beyond”

2 thoughts on “Finding a Unicorn – Dating in your 30’s and Beyond

  1. There are so many things about Christianity that I question and I am uncomfortable with. However, I respect when people follow and go to church. My last relationship seemed like no matter what effort is done for the relationship, it was always, “Yeah, but you don’t go to church.” that makes me even more frustrated with religion. The struggle is real.

    1. I appreciate your honesty. It sounds like there were different priorities perhaps? Church attendance was key for the person you mentioned , but not so much for you. So there was a disconnect in that area. Maybe in the future, finding someone who was more on the same wavelength as you in this area would be important? Just thinking aloud. What are your thoughts?

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