Winter Fan, Winter Foe

I don’t like winter.  I used to like it when I was a kid.  I loved putting on my boots and big poofy winter coat and trudging through the shin-deep blanket of snow.  I have good memories of attempting to make snowmen with my siblings.  Or I’d pick a pristine, untouched patch of snow and attempt to walk through the snow in a precise pattern so as to spell out my name or favorite word.  Yes, I was one of those nerdy kids who had favorite words.  Sometimes I’d take a fallen twig and try to write something in the snow in my best cursive.  Ahh, the innocence of childhood where the smallest things were a delight.

Fast forward to adulthood, having raised my own children and having lived through multiple snowy winters.  I don’t like winter anymore.  Truth be told, I’d rather be on a tropical island or in a warm location where snow is not the norm.  I’m okay if I don’t see snow firsthand for many years.  Yes, it’s beautiful.  It really is.  I especially like how the blanket of white fluff seems to insulate the noisy outdoors.  And it’s pretty when the snow covers the intricate tree branches.

But, I don’t need to live in it anymore.   I’m good.  Done.  My body hates being cold.  I no longer enjoy bundling up.  The gray skies of winter give me the blues.  And all I seem to want to do during the snowy winters is sleep and stay inside.  This is not the way to live (for me).  I want to wake up to sunshine and blue skies.  I want to wear shorts in December, January and February and not be cold.  I want summer weather all year long.  That’s the dream.

Blessings!

~ Kay Dee

©2020 I Am KayDee, “Winter Fan, Winter Foe”

Faith, Growth, Trust…help!

I haven’t been blogging regularly because I’ve been busy with everything else.  I’m trying to get some ideas off of the ground and establish some things so that they can grow. It’s hard work.  But, in the process, I’ve neglected my writing.

I’ve also been somewhat inwardly hesitant to share my faith, although I press forward and make myself do it anyway.  This society, for all of its shouts of “intolerance!” seems to be intolerant of Christianity. But, I get it.  Christianity has not had many stellar moments over the last several years.  Church organizations are run by people.  People are flawed.  And Christianity in the Western world has a past that is not anything to brag about.  It’s been used for manipulative purposes.  It’s been used to control.   It’s been used to oppress.  It’s been used to condemn.  None of these were the original intent.  We “the collective church” have not been good at leading with love.  But, I think there is hope.  There is a remnant, a faction if you will of believers who are rejecting all of the pomp and circumstance, the lack of authenticity and the pious arrogance of what the church has come to be known for and is instead seeking to take off the mask, get real, and get messy in seeking truth and in loving people, all people.

With that being said, I’ll be sharing more about my faith, knowing some will not want to hear about it.  But, to not share it would be to reject an essential part of who I am.  This is part of my truth and I seek to be authentically me.   I hope that some will relate to it, even if they don’t ascribe to the faith part of it.

God is calling me to a new level of trust.  This is a big deal for me because trusting God was a really difficult road for me.  As a child, I trusted God with the innocence of a child.  As I grew, I experienced a major betrayal of trust in my teens and it scarred me.  Trusting God was not something I was able to do for awhile because I was angry and bitter.  Thankfully, my love for God and my faith in God, though at times weak and small, never died.  God can work with ‘just a little’.  Over the years, I’ve worked hard at trusting God and the hard work has paid off.  Now, He’s calling me higher and it’s not all rainbows and puppies, let me tell you.  This new level of trust is also hard work.  It’s exposing all of my ‘yuck’ in the process.  Sometimes we get to a place where we think we’ve got a pretty good grasp on things.  We feel good about the level of maturity we’ve reached and how far we’ve come.  But, then God calls us to a new level of growth.  The growth process is not comfortable.  It’s work, it’s ‘sweat’, it’s humility and acknowledging we still have a ways to go, and it’s admitting you’re not as ‘together’ as you thought you were.  But, the rewards of growth in God’s hands are immeasurable.  I’m looking forward to seeing all of the new things God will do!

For any of you who are like me, and God is calling you to new / higher levels, keep trusting Him.  Keep allowing God to work on you:  to work some things out of you, as well as work some things into you.  He will help you!  And remember to have awesome brothers and sisters in the faith to link arms with you, so that you can keep one another lifted up along the way.

Much love, much peace.

~ Kay Dee

©2020 I AM KAYDEE, “Faith, Growth, Trust…help!”