God’s Painful Grace

There was a time when I believed God’s grace to be something that was always comforting, always miraculous, always a blissfully joyful thing to experience. And it IS all of those things, but not always. Yes, God’s grace has brought me to thankful tears. God’s grace has brought relief and happiness to my heart. God’s grace has overwhelmed me as a loving force that cannot quite be put into words, where I’ve simply felt waves of love washing over me.

But, recently, as I have reflected on some very pivotal moments in my life, I’ve come to also notice a pattern of what I’ll call “painful grace”. This often comes in the form of shattered dreams, a broken heart, a lost job and the like. And it’s not until you’ve come completely out of the situation and (significant) time has passed, and the heart is open for lessons to be gleaned from the experience, that you realize that it was God’s grace at work in those difficult moments also.

At the time, we can rarely see it as grace, because we’re in the throes of pain and disappointment. We’re grieving, lamenting, mourning. It’s difficult to see clearly when we’re in the middle of grappling with the “why” and “how” of our agonizing experiences. But, in hindsight, we can see God’s hand of grace in those very situations.

Later, after the fact, we see that God’s grace in our losing that job was that He was moving us out of our comfort zone, or perhaps removing us from a place with no growth opportunity, or maybe removing us from a toxic work environment so that we could move onto the next opportunity that He had for us. If we’d not have been ‘moved’ from that position, we might have remained in a place of stagnancy and/or missed out on the next chapter God had for us for career growth and change.

After the fact, we see that God’s grace in that failed relationship was Him moving us out of an unhealthy situation, or saving us from a lifetime commitment with a toxic person, or saving us from a situation were we’d have been ill-matched or not truly valued.  However, by His grace, He ‘moved’ us out of that situation so that we could be free to move into a place of self-growth and healing, and/or into a place of preparation for a better future relationship.

After the fact, we can see that God’s grace in that failed business or shattered dream was Him repositioning us. He was re-routing us to an even greater purpose and more fulfilling dream. That ‘failure’ caused us to rethink life, upgrade our perspective, and brainstorm a new, more innovative plan or idea than we would’ve thought of if we’d have not experienced that failure. I once heard Bishop TD Jakes saying something to the effect of – ‘what if our failures are really our gateways to the next phase of our purpose?!’ [paraphrased]

Ohhh, God’s painful grace! We do not readily embrace it. We fight it. We even hate it, because at the time it does not seem like grace… It only feels like pain. But, if our hand is in God’s hand, shouldn’t we trust Him to lead us through this process? To refine us? To grow us? Even if at times His grace is painful?

©2019 Life Together with Kay Dee, “God’s Painful Grace”

photo credit: morguefile.com

Life

Life is multifaceted.
We juggle wants and needs, responsibility and desires, practicality and extravagance,
and everything in between.
We give large parts of ourselves to different things at different times.
It’s easy to feel like life is a constant struggle for balance.
Many times we tend to feel as though we’re wasting our time with mundane responsibilities,
often feeling trapped by them.
But, BEAUTY is not only found in the things that spark joy and passion in us.
Beauty can also be found in the daily grind, in the fulfilling of our duties, in the handling of our responsibilities.
We show up. We work hard. We provide for families. We care for loved ones.
There is honor in that. And we must include it in the totality of who we are.
Our lives ebb and flow, twist and turn, are unbalanced and balanced again.
We have seasons where certain things take up more space in our lives than others.
Sometimes things we want to do or be are delayed due to these life circumstances.

But, that doesn’t mean that we can never have those things or dreams that spark joy in us?
We absolutely can! But we must be mindful of the full picture. The fruition of things is often seasonal and the timing is rarely in our control.

Life is not one thing OR another. It is the summation of all things together. So, when we look at life, we should not define it by just ONE thing, aspect or season only.

Maybe life is less about “settling for mediocrity” or resigning ourselves to our “lot in life”.
Likewise, maybe it’s less about being fulfilled only if we have everything we want.
Instead, maybe it’s more about embracing the WHOLE experience, in all its many facets.
Maybe it’s about redefining our expectations of what life “should be” and embracing ALL of what it is.
Maybe it’s about recognizing and respecting the season we’re in, and flowing WITH it, not against it.

@i.am.kaydee
©2019 Life Together with Kay Dee “Life” by Kay Dee

Shake Yourself FREE

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You
Yes, you!
You’ve been lost.
You’ve been tangled in the maze of the familiar.
But now you must shake yourself FREE from folly, from indecision, from old patterns
that keep you on the hamster wheel running FAST…and going nowhere.

What must you do to be different? Better? Changed? Improved? Healed?
What must you do to permanently BREAK the chains that have bound you for so long?

You must begin to make better choices
And NOT allow yourself to be SEDUCED by the familiar.
Because the FAMILIAR is toxic, is dangerous, is distorted reality.
The familiar has kept you asleep…unconscious…brain dead for too long.

You must begin to see clearly
Even if the bright light of TRUTH hurts your eyes at first.
You will soon learn to adjust to walking in the LIGHT instead of the darkness.
You will learn to look beyond the surface in order to see the SOUL of a thing
Whereas before…you’d to been blind to it.

Somewhere along the line you fell for the LIE that you weren’t “good enough” for the best things in life because someone mistreated you…and made you feel like you were less than you really were.
And as a result, you made choices about life and love based on this lie.

But, no more!
It’s time to rise up!
It’s time to be free!
It’s time to walk in truth!
It’s time to fly high!
You’re worth it.

Begin.

©2016 Kay Dee Speaks, “Shake Yourself FREE”

Image from Google images via freedomworldwide

Motives 11/10/2016

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Upon following the post-election social media storm (still in progress) – I see passionate people expressing varied views.  My personal election viewpoints aside, I felt the need to express myself in some way.  So for part of my expression I chose to write what I see and what I feel.  This may be the first of many installments, or just a single post.  Time will tell.   This may go largely unnoticed because the media frenzy is so fierce and passions are high, and likely will be for a while.  But, still, I need to share… for me.  And hopefully it will be a blessing to someone else.  ♥

 

Motives – by KayDeeSpeaks

Are we talking AT each other?
Or talking TO each other?
What is our underlying motive when we speak?
Are we trying to UNDERSTAND one another?
Or are we just trying to be RIGHT at any cost?
Before we so quickly point the finger at others,
Let’s first point it at ourselves, each individually.
Take a serene moment and
Let us examine our own hearts.
Let us quiet ourselves and reflect inwardly.
Let us get down to the roots in our own hearts.
What is their origin?
Is there anything that needs to be UP-rooted?
Truly only WE know what really lies within.
And what we do not know, God can reveal.
For the seeds of division were sown long, long ago in ages past.
And the roots of division are long, and strong, and deep.
And the tree, yes the TREE bears bitter fruit and will continue, unless we look beneath the surface.
If we do not deal with the roots, then we are only dealing with the leaves, the fruit, the external, the surface…
And surface issues will continue to cycle back around like the seasons.
We must do the harder part.
We must go deeper.
But be warned…
Old wounds resurfaced are painful.
They tend to elicit feelings of defensiveness, anger, fear, sadness and the like.
Before true healing can happen, there is some upheaval that first occurs when facing issues head on.
But until we deal with the roots, true change will not be established and lasting.
Deep wounds are only healed when they are acknowledged and dealt with.
But, they must be dealt with with honesty and with CARE and truth and repentance and forgiveness. Forgiveness of self and of others.
Shall we begin?
Or will the cycle continue?

 

My thoughts,

@KayDeeSpeaks – WordPress,IG,FB,Twitter

©KayDeeSpeaks 2016 “Motives 11/10/2016”

When Life Is Quiet

 

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When Life is Quiet by KD

When life is quiet
And the phone doesn’t ring
It may feel as if the birds do not sing
Remember you’re not alone

When life is quiet
By your own design
You’ve purposely left some things behind
Remember you’re not alone

When life is quiet
And friends let you down
You look, but they are not to be found
Remember you’re not alone

For in the quiet of life
We learn to hear again
We learn to see again
We remember the sound of our own voice
We remember who we are
We become re-focused
We cry tears long held in
We release burdens long weighing us down
We heal

©2014 KD Corner / KD “When Life Is Quiet”

Keep The Faith!

choc

Whew!
I’m telling you…
Life
Is like a box of chocolates
You never know what you’re going to get

Sweet
Yes, sweet
There are those moments
Where you taste the perfect taste
Of your favorite chocolate treat
And it melts on your tongue
Sweet bliss

Bitter
Yes, bitter
When you bite that piece
That offends your taste buds
Causes your brow to furrow
And you want to spit it out
Now!
But it takes time
For the aftertaste to go away

Keep the faith!

Life cycles around
Like the seasons
Some winters may be more harsh
And some may be mild
Some summers may be picture perfect
And some may be short lived

It rains in autumn
It rains in the spring
Yet in autumn and spring,
There can also be
Brilliant foliage
Blooming flowers
Beauty

Keep the faith!

You will make it through this
Weeping may endure for a ‘night’ season,
But joy comes in the ‘morning’ season.

© 2014 KD Corner / “Keep The Faith!”

Gone Too Soon (a poem)

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This is for my friends who’ve lost a dear loved one.

Gone Too Soon by K.D.

Nothing fully prepares us
For the passing of someone dear
The news comes like a piercing sound
Foreign to the ear

Even if we were forewarned
Of what was to occur
It doesn’t ease the pain
It doesn’t quell the hurt

Sometimes it blindsides us
Nothing we would expect
It shakes us and it breaks us
We’ve no chance to object

We’re left reeling from the shock
Staggering from the sting
Trying to make sense
Of all that’s happening

Wondering how we’ll make it
Without their presence near
Questioning how we’ll go on
Through the ache and through the fear

Knowing somehow we must proceed
But still not sure quite how
Going through the motions
Is how we function now

One second, hour, day at a time
That’s how you make it through
You say, “I can’t ever see
How I will make it without you?”

“But, this one thing I have
That no one can tear apart
Is the memory I hold of you
Close within my heart.”

So, with memories so precious
We go forward day by day
Honoring the one we love
In a special way

Their presence will be missed
Their absence has left a void
But their deposit into our lives
Has left an undeniable joy

And as we live each day
Holding the gift of them in our hearts
We honor their very essence
A love that won’t depart

©2014 KD Corner / K.D. “Gone Too Soon (a poem)”

photo credit: downloadclipart.net