Faith, Growth, Trust…help!

I haven’t been blogging regularly because I’ve been busy with everything else.  I’m trying to get some ideas off of the ground and establish some things so that they can grow. It’s hard work.  But, in the process, I’ve neglected my writing.

I’ve also been somewhat inwardly hesitant to share my faith, although I press forward and make myself do it anyway.  This society, for all of its shouts of “intolerance!” seems to be intolerant of Christianity. But, I get it.  Christianity has not had many stellar moments over the last several years.  Church organizations are run by people.  People are flawed.  And Christianity in the Western world has a past that is not anything to brag about.  It’s been used for manipulative purposes.  It’s been used to control.   It’s been used to oppress.  It’s been used to condemn.  None of these were the original intent.  We “the collective church” have not been good at leading with love.  But, I think there is hope.  There is a remnant, a faction if you will of believers who are rejecting all of the pomp and circumstance, the lack of authenticity and the pious arrogance of what the church has come to be known for and is instead seeking to take off the mask, get real, and get messy in seeking truth and in loving people, all people.

With that being said, I’ll be sharing more about my faith, knowing some will not want to hear about it.  But, to not share it would be to reject an essential part of who I am.  This is part of my truth and I seek to be authentically me.   I hope that some will relate to it, even if they don’t ascribe to the faith part of it.

God is calling me to a new level of trust.  This is a big deal for me because trusting God was a really difficult road for me.  As a child, I trusted God with the innocence of a child.  As I grew, I experienced a major betrayal of trust in my teens and it scarred me.  Trusting God was not something I was able to do for awhile because I was angry and bitter.  Thankfully, my love for God and my faith in God, though at times weak and small, never died.  God can work with ‘just a little’.  Over the years, I’ve worked hard at trusting God and the hard work has paid off.  Now, He’s calling me higher and it’s not all rainbows and puppies, let me tell you.  This new level of trust is also hard work.  It’s exposing all of my ‘yuck’ in the process.  Sometimes we get to a place where we think we’ve got a pretty good grasp on things.  We feel good about the level of maturity we’ve reached and how far we’ve come.  But, then God calls us to a new level of growth.  The growth process is not comfortable.  It’s work, it’s ‘sweat’, it’s humility and acknowledging we still have a ways to go, and it’s admitting you’re not as ‘together’ as you thought you were.  But, the rewards of growth in God’s hands are immeasurable.  I’m looking forward to seeing all of the new things God will do!

For any of you who are like me, and God is calling you to new / higher levels, keep trusting Him.  Keep allowing God to work on you:  to work some things out of you, as well as work some things into you.  He will help you!  And remember to have awesome brothers and sisters in the faith to link arms with you, so that you can keep one another lifted up along the way.

Much love, much peace.

~ Kay Dee

©2020 I AM KAYDEE, “Faith, Growth, Trust…help!”

C’mon Trust Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Monday!

Let’s talk about TRUST today. Ooh, fun subject I know!  Wait, wait please keep reading. I know just the word “trust” strikes a negative chord with many people. Immediately there comes to mind that woman, man, friend, foe, coach, teacher, family member that was supposed to be trustworthy and they betrayed your trust. It brings a bitter taste to your mouth. Believe me, though I may not be able to relate with your specific situation, I do know what it’s like to have trust betrayed. We live in an imperfect world, full of imperfect people. When someone who we deem trustworthy betrays our trust, it’s a BIG deal! Scars are left. Walls go up. Hurt & wounded feelings remain and it can take years to heal, depending on the situation and our willingness to go through the healing process.

Mad at God

Bad experiences may negative impact on belief in or trust in God. Because our world is imperfect, when we experience the death of someone close to us or perhaps a situation we were praying about that did not turn out like we thought it should, we blame God and cannot trust Him. We feel He let us down. I don’t pretend to be a theologian and I most definitely do NOT hold all of the answers. I can only speak from my own experience. A couple of times, even as a Christian, I felt as though God totally failed me. I didn’t understand WHY those things happened and WHY He hadn’t answered my prayers and WHY didn’t He step in and save the day, and WHY bother having faith if bad things were going to happen anyway, etc. I had a lot of anger and a lot of questions. I still don’t know all of the answers, but, here are a few things I have learned and re-learned. (1) However you want to say it, we live in an imperfect/sinful/fallen world. And because people aren’t perfect (and unfortunately some people are twisted or have major issues) they choose to do bad things to other people. (2) I cannot control another person’s choices or behavior. Pray as I might that God would intervene and make that person do what’s right… God gave that person a free will, and they can decide to do the opposite of what is good or right, even if the right choice smacks them in the face time & time again. (3) For those of you who aren’t Christian, this may not hold much water, but, I’ll share it nonetheless: In the Bible, God never promises that we will not go through troubling times. In fact, He tells us the opposite. He promises that we WILL go through hard times, but that He will be there WITH us to help us through the difficult times.

I can attest to one particularly heart wrenching situation. I received some bad news about a medical situation. Right in the midst of receiving the news, the strangest and most powerful calm and peace came over me. When by all accounts I should’ve been freaking out, I was enveloped in peace. I had always read the scripture that the “Peace of God which surpasses our understanding, will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” But that was the first time I had truly experienced it. Was that situation automatically fixed? No. In fact, more troubling related incidences occurred afterward. I personally went through a time of anger, frustration, grief and questioning. But, through my lament, I remembered that peace and held on to the promise that one day I would come through this trying time. I did come through it. But it took quite a bit of time. I know that if God had not been there, not to mention supportive friends and family, I would not have come through the situation nearly as well, nor with my faith in tact.

Trusting People Again

Trust is a very difficult thing, especially when it’s been betrayed. And whether your trust issue is with a person or with God (or both), it takes time for trust to be built back up. That person who betrayed your trust will have to work hard to build it back up. They will have to be consistent and patient and understanding. The sad thing is that the person may choose NOT to build that trust again. But, that doesn’t mean that you should allow them to ruin forever your ability to trust anyone. Maybe you’re extremely guarded. Maybe you’re unable to trust right now, and that is okay. It takes time. But, there ARE trustworthy people out there. Just be careful not to equate trustworthiness with perfection…because there are NO perfect people. We all make mistakes. But, there are people, who are indeed good, quality people full of integrity who will exemplify their trustworthiness consistently. The thing that’s hardest to do after betrayal is trust again. Take baby steps. But don’t close yourself off completely from the idea of trusting anyone. You could be missing out on some really great friendships / relationships. If you’ve endured traumatic experiences, it may take a lot of time to heal and even some good quality counseling or support groups to help you work through what you’ve experienced. There is no shame in that. And, if you’ve been hurt by church people let me say that I am so, so sorry! All Christians and churches aren’t bad, I promise. Please remember not to let a few rotten eggs spoil your view of Christianity or church.

Forgiving God?

If you feel as though God has let you down, there’s no easy answer. For ourselves and our inner peace, we may have to go through the process of forgiving God. Yes, I said it.  For all of my Christian friends, yes, God is unfailing and without sin.  But, if we’ve felt let down or betrayed by him, we have to do a work in our own hearts and go through the process to forgive God for wherever we feel He’s let us down.  We have to cleanse our hearts of bitterness.  For everyone,  I’d say to pray sincerely (your prayers matter and God hears them) and read the Bible for yourself. God truly loves you, more than you can imagine. There ARE credible and reliable teachers of the Bible out there. There are radio and TV ministries as well…find the good ones. The more CORRECT teaching you can get about God and the Bible, the better your understanding will be. If you still decide that you hate God and will never trust Him or you just don’t care for Him very much. Okay. But I pray that one day you’ll come to know His immense, intense and unending love for you.

You are loved.
Toodles ♥

Just a few supporting scriptures: John 16:33 and Psalm 34:18 and Philippians 4:7

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