Walk Away From The Flames: Stop Burning Yourself

Touchflame but

Why is it that we as people tend to want what’s bad for us? Is it human nature? Is it sin nature? What is it? Whether it be relationships that we KNOW are absolutely destructive and unhealthy… Or environments that are toxic or overly tempting… Or whether it’s gorging ourselves on food that we know is bad for us and we’ll pay for it later…. Or wanting what is forbidden, what is not ours? What is it?

Remember in high school or college, there was that guy or that girl who was pretty good looking, smart, funny, charming… but wasn’t the “bad” boy or the “hot to trot” girl? What about them? Why do we tend to ignore those who could be potentially good, solid, stable people and instead lust for danger, adventure, the ‘high’? But, going for the forbidden is exciting, right?! It’s thrilling! It’s titillating! Now, to clarify, I’m not referring to going for your dreams or taking good risks to reach your goals. That is different. Here, I’m talking about unhealthy choices, about compromising in the wrong direction, about ‘selling your soul’, so to speak. I’m talking about potentially putting ourselves in harm’s way just for the thrill or just to get that ‘thing’ or that ‘person’ or that ‘high’ that we know deep down inside is no good for us.

Are we just thrill seeking? Or are we self-punishing? Is it that somewhere deep in our inmost being we feel we don’t deserve what is good and healthy and stable, etc.? Did something happen to us in our lives a loooong time ago or continuously throughout our lives that warped our perception of what is good vs. bad, healthy vs. unhealthy? Did someone once tell us that we were “less than” or “no good” and that we deserved bad things and we believed it? Were the messages subliminal? Were you somehow made to believe by life, by people, by circumstance that there is nothing you can do to deserve true happiness, so you might as well just ‘flip the bird’ at the world and live with reckless abandon, regardless of the consequences?

Or are you by all appearances happy, but, deep inside there is secretly a void? Yes, outwardly you’re well liked, you are successful in your career, you have a great family, but, secretly you’re hooked on prescription drugs or pain killers? Or nobody would suspect that hidden all around your house are bottles and vials of alcohol because you feel you cannot cope without it because it kills the numbs the unresolved pain you feel inside. Perhaps, although you’re married or committed to a great person, you’ve allowed yourself to be in ‘sabotage mode’ because somewhere along the line you were told “nothing good ever lasts”… so you go ahead and flirt with that coworker and flirting progresses to something more serious. You know it’s wrong, but, you keep telling yourself you don’t deserve happiness anyway. Maybe you’ve always gone after the “players” because they were good looking and exciting, yet you ignore ALL of the obvious signs that he/she is using and cheating on you with multiple people, because you want to be loved… But you went for the “player” because deep inside you didn’t feel like you deserved any better. After all, what ‘good’ happens in life? Or perhaps life has become so bad, that you seek your refuge in food. Food comforts. Food tastes good. Food doesn’t judge you. Food is always there. Food doesn’t disappoint you. But, as a result you pack on the pounds and before you realize it you’ve come to a place physically where you are no longer healthy… and you’re not quite sure how to get back.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? What prohibits us from desiring what is healthy and good? Or what drives us to self-sabotage mode or gets us off track?
Why do we keep ourselves in this cycle? If we keep getting burned, why do we keep going back to touch the flames?

I suspect there are varying reasons as there are varying solutions. But, my heartfelt plea to you if I’ve said something that has spoken to you is this:
YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE LOVEABLE. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY. Stop punishing yourself. Get the help you need to get yourself on the right path. If you need professional help, get it! If the first professional person doesn’t ‘click’ with you, ask around and get GOOD recommendations to find another. But get the help. If this is just a matter of ‘waking up’ to realize where you are, I hope and pray that this small blog post could serve as that wake up call. Stop returning to what is harmful and start moving toward what is healthy. The trouble is that many times, these thought-patterns and behavior-patterns are so deeply ingrained in us that it will likely take some skilled professional counseling to help us rewire our thinking to get to a healthy state. And for addictions of any kind, most definitely professional help is needed and that is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. Taking care of yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. Go for it! Get the help. And I hope that through your journey you come to the place that you will do what is healthy and good for you for your future.

God bless.

© 2014 KD Corner “Walk Away From the Flames: Stop Burning Yourself”

image from Google images

Sending You Hugs

Fair warning. This post is unfiltered and random. But I hope if you can relate to any of it, you end up encouraged.

I’m sad today.
And I’m thinking that’s … okay.

Things aren’t quite the way I want them to be.
But I recognize the blessings in the midst of tough times.
I’m waiting for the fruition of some promises from God…
But they’ve not yet come to pass.
Some things are just hard.
I tend to feel sorry for myself sometimes,
And as someone wise once told me…that’s okay.
We tend to stifle our true feelings and/or let others tell us how we should feel.
Not cool.
We should be allowed to work through our feelings. Allowed to move through them to the other side of the pain, like a beautiful dance sequence.
We should be allowed to feel what we’re feeling at the moment without having to feel guilty or ‘not Christian enough’ for feeling it. It’s okay.
But, maybe you struggle with deeper things (severe depression or perhaps some very real disorders or illnesses). Remember, that doesn’t make you any less human or make your feelings less valid. You may need some extra help working your feelings out. Guess what? That’s okay. Do what’s healthy for YOU.

I often make it my mission to reach out to others when I’m feeling down.
I figure if I can encourage someone else, then I’ve helped someone and that makes me feel good.
Listen, if you’re having a tough time in general, get whatever help you need to get that is healthy for you, not harmful.
If you don’t know who to reach out to, maybe I or other folks on wordpress can help you figure it out.
YOU are beautiful.
YOU are more than your circumstances.
And GOD loves you infinitely, even if you can’t feel it at the moment.
Sometimes when we’re in a dark place, it’s hard to see the light.
But I promise you, if you pay attention, you will notice a glimmer of light each day.
However, if you feel like darkness is swallowing you, please, please get some help.
You are worth saving. You’re worth loving. You’re worth living. You’re beautiful, no matter what anyone says.

©2014 “Sending You Hugs” KD Corner / KD