Seeking Direction

I’m tired. I feel like I keep reaching for something better and it continues to escape my grasp. I try for love and keep experiencing disappointment. Or I temporarily settle and end up more deeply disappointed than ever.

I try for success outside of my job, and have several projects going, but, I get frustrated when it seems I’m getting nowhere. I’m not about using click bait, nor showing my body all of the time, nor gags, jokes, or pranks, just to get more views. I’m sick of how shallow our culture is. I try to have substance overall. Good character. Morals. Values. I try to help people and give good advice on things I wish I’d have known beforehand. But, it all seems to be falling on deaf ears or dry ground.

Sometimes I feel as though I was born in the wrong era, but, that can’t be right, because I’m here, now, for a purpose. Plus, bygone eras weren’t any better for black people.

Well… I guess that’s all I wanted to say. I don’t know the answers….

kay dee

©2020 I AM KAYDEE | Seeking Direction

Image by Larisa Koshkina from Pixabay

The Process

Hi everyone! I’m super so-so sorry I’ve been away for a bit. Honestly things have been a teensy bit busy of late. And in my quieter moments, I’ve wanted to write, but, hadn’t the foggiest notion what I could write to inspire you. I definitely didn’t want to write ‘fluff’, but at the same time, I need to continue to hone my writing/blogging skills, so I should be writing more regularly…at least that’s the goal.

So…how’ve you all been? I really want to know, so feel free to send me a note at any time.

Me? I’ve been trying to navigate the mystery that is my life. Haha! Searching for purpose, deeper meaning, etc. By that, I mean I’ve been pretty much bugging God for what I’m supposed to be doing here (I mean…other than the obvious job of being a parent). I think I’m in a season of quiet. Yep, calm, quiet and BORING! Lol. Well, it seems pretty boring especially compared to some other folks I know. BUT,  I just posted on my personal facebook page about how not to compare ourselves with others. It was pretty good, if I must say so myself. Honestly it felt like I was preaching to myself.  And oh boy, I needed it!  So, I can’t really take the credit for it. I totally prayed for what I should write and it just flowed. (Thanks God).

I feel like I’m in God’s waiting room…. or something like that. You know how you’re in the middle of SOMETHING and you can’t figure out what the heck it is, but you know in your gut (and sometimes see little hints) that God is totally in control and he’s working some stuff OUT of you that needs to be out, and INTO you that needs to be in. (I’m pretty sure that was really bad English, but, you get my drift.)

So, that’s where I am. I’m learning to trust the process. Ugh. I don’t like it, but I know the end of this is going to be something really good!

Toodles! ♥