help yourself – I Am Kay Dee

Self-Check: Are You Negative & Don’t Know It?

Every now and again, I find it necessary to do what I call a “self-check”, to see if I’m “out of balance” in any one area. For me personally, usually through prayer and reading the bible, I’m able to better reflect on myself and my actions. For you, it may be a similar or different method. In any case, today, we’ll talk about negativity.

I think we all have the propensity to be negative sometimes. It’s part of the normal course of human emotional responses. The problem comes when we’re negative MOST of the time. Adding onto this, it’s a problem if you’re negative most of the time…and don’t realize it. I’m sure we all know negative people. And we probably tend to distance ourselves from them (or should), if possible, for our own emotional health and well-being.

But, how do you know if YOU are the negative person? Here is a checklist I came up with. It’s not all-inclusive and certainly not ‘expert’ in nature. These are just some things I think can be self-check points. Ask yourself the following:

1. Do I have the tendency to complain more often than not?

2. Do I have a habit of talking badly about people (snide comments, gossiping, taking verbal ‘jabs’ at people whether they can hear me or not) instead of saying something good, or nothing at all?

3. Do I always see the ‘problem’ instead of the ‘solution’?

4. Do I tend to create mountains out of mole hills (do I make small issues into big ones) most of the time?

5. If there is NO problem, do I tend to CREATE a problem in order to have something to complain about?

6. Am I more comfortable complaining, than just being at peace or being happy?

7. Do I feel like I’m ‘never satisfied’?

8. Is my outlook generally one of the glass (of life) being half empty instead of half full (do I tend to see the bad more often than the good)? Am I more often pessimistic instead of optimistic?

9. Is it difficult for me to compliment people, to smile or celebrate a good event?

10. Do I feel as though life is generally ‘bad’? Do I feel as though people are generally ‘bad’?

11. Do I tend toward being judgmental?

Some of these questions are similar in nature, but, they are all to get you thinking about how you react or think “most of the time”. If you feel that you answered most of these questions in the affirmative, you could possibly be a negative person. Again, this list is not all-inclusive or definitive in nature. It is more to get you thinking.

Sources of negativity can be varied. From what I’ve learned and observed, negativity can creep in for various reasons or it can be a learned pattern (especially if it was modeled in the home or elsewhere on a consistent basis). Or it can be rooted in fear.

What should you do if you realize that you have a tendency toward being negative? It can be as easy as watching your reaction or your speech and consciously making efforts to change. Or it can be as serious as perhaps getting some professional counseling to help you figure out the root cause of it and give you tools for ridding the negative patterns from your life. But whatever the case, do not be ashamed. We all struggle with something. And doing regular self-checks can be good to do on a routine basis.

Here are some resources for you:
1. How to Deal With Negative People
2. Are You A Positive or Negative Person (includes strategies to combat negativity)
3. Book: Happiness Is A Choice – Minirth/Maier

Disclaimer: I am not a professional counselor. These are just life observations and personal life lessons I wanted to share. You are entitled to your own opinion. And I always encourage everyone to do their own research on any subject matter. That said, I hope something said here has been helpful to you and/or your loved ones.

Blessings to you!