Only The Lonely

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Most people who deal with this don’t like to admit it, but they’re lonely.
There are a lot of lonely folks in this world. We don’t know the half of it.
We don’t know how many people lie awake at night, in their own private misery. We don’t see people behind closed doors when tears are streaming from their eyes, and their shoulders are heaving from heavy guttural sobs. We don’t see the person curled up under their covers, wishing something…anything could take away the loneliness that they feel. It’s a real feeling. Many times the very person you see who looks like they have it all together, or the person with a smile on their face, is the very same person who suffers from loneliness and maybe depression.

I’m not writing with the cure. I don’t think that there is a one-size-fits-all cure. But, I am writing to say that you are not alone. I am here and this wordpress community is here. I understand. I’m here to tell you to hold on. You’ll make it through this. But don’t try to do it by yourself. God loves you. You can pray to him.  Or you may only have 1 person in your life that cares, but, that’s 1 person that counts. Those people are a gift.  Some practical things you can do to stave off loneliness?  You might  try involving yourself in a recreational activity that you enjoy. Try to find joy in simple everyday things like, the smile of a friend, the sunshine, birds singing, a feel-good story on TV,  a good book or a favorite song. Try  projecting outwardly instead of shutting down inwardly by reaching out to help others (whether in the form of writing, volunteering, coaching sports, tutoring, etc.). And on the days when you need to cry, go ahead.

But, if your loneliness becomes too much for you to bear on your own, then there’s no shame in getting some outside help. Maybe see your doctor or a counselor. Sometimes a counselor can help guide us to the root of our feelings to help resolve them. Or sometimes there is something medically wrong that alters our moods and we don’t know if we don’t reach out to get that help from a physician. Never feel ashamed. If you are taking healthy steps to make sure you’re getting what you need to be your best, then you should feel proud of yourself.

Sending you a virtual hug & a song:
You are not alone – Michael Jackson

You are loved!

© 2013 “Only The Lonely” KD Corner / K.D.

Photo credit: youthvoices.net / google images

Come See A Man

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“Come see a man who told me everything I ever did….” – John 4:29a

Even in the midst of our mess, God talks to us.  We are not forgotten.
The story from which I took this quote, is a story where Christ asks a woman for water to drink – a woman who he wasn’t supposed to talk to, according to Jewish customs – and proceeds to reveal to her in a loving way, the mess in her life. Not to make her feel bad. But so He could help her change it for the better. Oh, there are so many points I could bring out with this passage. But, I’d like to concentrate on this…

God knows where we are.
He loves us anyway.
He comes to help us.

He knows our struggles, failures, ‘white lies’, big fat lies, compromises, lack of faith, when we turn away from him, etc.
But, if we come to God, he doesn’t leave us hanging. The answer may not be instantaneous, but it comes.
And it often comes at a time when we’re most likely to pay attention.

This has happened for me today.
I’ve been in a prolonged season/period of testing, trials, etc.
I’ve gone through the gamut of emotions, bargaining, reasoning, getting angry, rebelling, denial, etc.
Most recently, as I continued to go to church (at least once a week), and read my bible (though not every day), and pray (alllllll of the time…although I’m pretty sure that a lot of it was just complaining), God has really been kind to speak to me.

Last week I heard a message about the life of King David. The point was brought out that though the beginning of David’s pathway to kingship may have seemed obscure, pointless, and like a long winding road….God had a purpose for each place in his journey toward becoming King. It was THEN, God opened my understanding to realize that all I have been through and all that I’m enduring now has a purpose….an ultimate end…a reason bigger than myself.

I have finally begun to come to a place of “contentment”. The bible says “be content in whatever state you’re in” (Phil. 4:11). I was fighting this lesson tooth and nail. I’d already done the ‘contentment thing’. It was time for a change! Time for blessing! I had BIG DREAMS that needed to come true IMMEDIATELY! I had God-given dreams!  Enough is enough (I reasoned)! I was trying and praying and clawing and grasping and determined to MAKE the dreams happen. But, I was blocked every time. God would encourage me TO dream, but, I had my OWN agenda and way that I thought things should be going…especially at this point in life.
But then, He began to speak to me about contentment. FINALLY I’m beginning to receive it.

Then TODAY, I heard the ending of a radio program that addressed this very thing. Ohhhhh, how I needed it. This spoke DIRECTLY to me. God used this woman on the radio program and told me ‘everything I ever did’. In essence, He reached me right where I was (am).  It was perfect timing to really strengthen and undergird what God has recently been revealing to me and re-teaching me about life, timing, trials, contentment. I really needed to hear this because recently I’d begun to become disillusioned as I thought my life should be “better” by now.  My sins of impatience and forging ahead with my OWN plan (instead of flowing with God’s plan) were exposed.   And through this radio program, I gladly received the healing balm of the words being spoken. The message of love not only convicted me, but comforted me (to know I was not alone), and strengthened me (to know I’m on the right track, learning to be content and trust God in the midst of difficult situations, trust His ways & timing). God says His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9).  “In this world, you WILL have trouble. But TAKE HEART (that is, be encouraged!), I (Christ) have OVERCOME THE WORLD!” And if we trust in Him, we too, with Him, have also overcome. Remember this whole thing has a bigger purpose than you can imagine. ♥

Here is the link to the radio program I heard. PLEASE LISTEN AND BE BLESSED.
If you want to skip all of the beginning talk, to get to the ‘meat’ of the program, it starts at 6:25.
>> Interview with Dr. Lina Abujamra <<
The speaker / author is Dr. Lina Abujamra.
Her book is “Stripped: When God’s Call Turns from ‘YES’ to ‘Why Me?'”. Title…so apropos.

Be blessed and refreshed as with a drink of cool water in a parched and weary land! Love to all!

© 2013 “Come See A Man” by KD Corner / K.D.

Feelings

Feelings.  Why are we so afraid of them? Is it because they’re unpredictable and sometimes uncontrollable or uncomfortable?  Could be.

It seems that society seems to have the notion that any “bad” feelings are to be hushed, squashed, hidden, gotten rid of quickly. But who came up with the notion that we are to be “happy” 100% of the time?

Who says that to show feeling means you’re weak? Not so. To show your real emotions sometimes takes great courage. Of course, with everything, BALANCE. I’m not advocating being run away with your feelings and living in emotional upheaval all of the time. I’m saying that in life there are seasons. Literal seasons, such as fall, winter, spring, summer. There are cycles, such as day turning to night, turning to day again. Nature is full of seasons and cycles. Why wouldn’t WE go through them as well. Life is a continuous cycle of highs and lows. I like to refer to the ocean tide because it’s such a good example. The tide ebbs and flows. We have to learn to FLOW with life. Our emotions cycle and flow. It’s OK to be sad sometimes or angry or disappointed. Not that you let that take over your whole life and not that you use that as an excuse to harm someone else. No, no. But, you must let yourself cycle through your feelings. Let yourself flow through them.

For instance, if you’ve been through major life changes (death, a break-up, separation or divorce, or perhaps a child moving away from home, physical struggles and the like) you are ALLOWED to feel sad some days. Yes, well-meaning people will always tell you to “cheer up” or “get over it”, or “move on”. But, no. Let yourself cycle through those feelings at your own pace. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. If you’re angry about something, take time to figure out what’s behind the anger. Journal about your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend who won’t judge you. Pray. Find a good counselor or mentor to help you work through it. There’s no shame in it. Find what works for you.

Perhaps in some cases, action will be required. For instance, if there is a situation where you are angry because you were treated unfairly, or there is a discrepancy at work, etc. you may need to take proper and cautious steps to resolve whatever the issue may be.  Never be a vigilante.  If you’re dealing with a work or legal issue, proper protocol must be followed. First, try to figure out what the root of your anger is before trying to resolve it.  Sometimes your anger may be rooted in your perception based on a past experiences or personality types.  If you recognize this to be the case, take a fresh look at the person or situation that upset you.  Look with new eyes and see if that person or situation offended you because it reminded you of someone/something else.  Sometimes our perception of another person’s intentions can be influenced by our past. So, take stock of all factors. And if you need assistance to resolve any issue, then ask. Again, nothing to be ashamed of.

And the same idea for other areas that may cause you to feel down, such as daily stress, family issues, or maybe you just had a bad day. It’s okay. Take time when you can be alone to work through it. You’ll know what works best for you.  Try taking a walk in the park or neighborhood, do some exercise, journal, pray, or express yourself through art, poetry or song.  These things may aid in you getting out some negative energy and stress and help you to gain some clarity regarding your feelings.

Some say not to have “pity parties”. But, I disagree. Have your pity party (just don’t make it a never-ending party) :).  Get your feelings out in a healthy way and keep on moving forward. Once you let yourself work THROUGH your feelings you will eventually get back around to the other side of the cycle. Think of it like a pendulum. Our lives are always in motion and always swinging from happiness to sadness, or good day to bad day and everything in between. That’s life. Every day is not “fun” or “happy”, but you can learn to deal with your feelings in an effective way. Stuffing them down or ignoring them only causes them to surface later in other ways…usually unhealthy ones.

Lastly, if you suffer from clinical depression or have other mental health struggles, then never ever be ashamed to get professional help. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy. There is therapy and there are medications that can be prescribed to help you obtain and maintain some balance. Do your homework and have someone you trust to help you with this process. The beautiful thing about living in this day and time is that there are a multitude of resources available to help people in whatever state they’re in & help them to find balance.

God bless you.
Toodles ♥

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net