I love myself.
This is a declaration I must make on a consistent basis. For so long, I didn’t love myself. I experienced some traumatic family situations when I was young. These life events dramatically altered how I saw myself. I thought something must be wrong with me, or else these things wouldn’t have happened. This is often how children process trauma. No matter how many times my folks would tell me it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was too late. My brain already processed it as partially my fault. Without realizing it, I began to see myself as less-than-worthy. I sought out attention as a teenager and young adult to try to “prove” to myself that I was good enough. Relationship after relationship, trying to “make them see” how valuable I was. I didn’t realize that I first had to learn to love ME in order to be whole enough to love others and to receive love in a healthy way.
Am I there yet? Yes and no. Yes, I do love myself and it’s taken so much work to get to the place where I could say it and mean it. But, no, I’m not always good at it. Some days I have to purposely declare it and purposely remind myself that I am worthy.
Faith Component: For me, God is central to me loving myself. He created me and loves me with a love so overwhelming that I cannot fully comprehend it. And I experience God’s love in such tremendous and often unexpected ways, that I cannot deny it, nor would I want to.
Today, if you do not feel loved, or don’t love yourself, I want to remind you of how special you are. You are most certainly meant to be here. You have purpose. You are incredible. I know sometimes days are not easy, but, please know that you matter. Your existence is not pointless. You have a lot to give, even if you cannot see it at the moment. Know that I am at least one person, one voice here to remind you of your worthiness! You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
If you feel you need more support than just reading a blog post, please visit my Resources Page to find extra help in the way of counseling or crisis support. Sending oodles of love your way!
~ Kay Dee
©2019 I AM KAYDEE, “The Audacity to Love Yourself”
Photo credit: pixabay.com