C’mon Trust Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Monday!

Let’s talk about TRUST today. Ooh, fun subject I know!  Wait, wait please keep reading. I know just the word “trust” strikes a negative chord with many people. Immediately there comes to mind that woman, man, friend, foe, coach, teacher, family member that was supposed to be trustworthy and they betrayed your trust. It brings a bitter taste to your mouth. Believe me, though I may not be able to relate with your specific situation, I do know what it’s like to have trust betrayed. We live in an imperfect world, full of imperfect people. When someone who we deem trustworthy betrays our trust, it’s a BIG deal! Scars are left. Walls go up. Hurt & wounded feelings remain and it can take years to heal, depending on the situation and our willingness to go through the healing process.

Mad at God

Bad experiences may negative impact on belief in or trust in God. Because our world is imperfect, when we experience the death of someone close to us or perhaps a situation we were praying about that did not turn out like we thought it should, we blame God and cannot trust Him. We feel He let us down. I don’t pretend to be a theologian and I most definitely do NOT hold all of the answers. I can only speak from my own experience. A couple of times, even as a Christian, I felt as though God totally failed me. I didn’t understand WHY those things happened and WHY He hadn’t answered my prayers and WHY didn’t He step in and save the day, and WHY bother having faith if bad things were going to happen anyway, etc. I had a lot of anger and a lot of questions. I still don’t know all of the answers, but, here are a few things I have learned and re-learned. (1) However you want to say it, we live in an imperfect/sinful/fallen world. And because people aren’t perfect (and unfortunately some people are twisted or have major issues) they choose to do bad things to other people. (2) I cannot control another person’s choices or behavior. Pray as I might that God would intervene and make that person do what’s right… God gave that person a free will, and they can decide to do the opposite of what is good or right, even if the right choice smacks them in the face time & time again. (3) For those of you who aren’t Christian, this may not hold much water, but, I’ll share it nonetheless: In the Bible, God never promises that we will not go through troubling times. In fact, He tells us the opposite. He promises that we WILL go through hard times, but that He will be there WITH us to help us through the difficult times.

I can attest to one particularly heart wrenching situation. I received some bad news about a medical situation. Right in the midst of receiving the news, the strangest and most powerful calm and peace came over me. When by all accounts I should’ve been freaking out, I was enveloped in peace. I had always read the scripture that the “Peace of God which surpasses our understanding, will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” But that was the first time I had truly experienced it. Was that situation automatically fixed? No. In fact, more troubling related incidences occurred afterward. I personally went through a time of anger, frustration, grief and questioning. But, through my lament, I remembered that peace and held on to the promise that one day I would come through this trying time. I did come through it. But it took quite a bit of time. I know that if God had not been there, not to mention supportive friends and family, I would not have come through the situation nearly as well, nor with my faith in tact.

Trusting People Again

Trust is a very difficult thing, especially when it’s been betrayed. And whether your trust issue is with a person or with God (or both), it takes time for trust to be built back up. That person who betrayed your trust will have to work hard to build it back up. They will have to be consistent and patient and understanding. The sad thing is that the person may choose NOT to build that trust again. But, that doesn’t mean that you should allow them to ruin forever your ability to trust anyone. Maybe you’re extremely guarded. Maybe you’re unable to trust right now, and that is okay. It takes time. But, there ARE trustworthy people out there. Just be careful not to equate trustworthiness with perfection…because there are NO perfect people. We all make mistakes. But, there are people, who are indeed good, quality people full of integrity who will exemplify their trustworthiness consistently. The thing that’s hardest to do after betrayal is trust again. Take baby steps. But don’t close yourself off completely from the idea of trusting anyone. You could be missing out on some really great friendships / relationships. If you’ve endured traumatic experiences, it may take a lot of time to heal and even some good quality counseling or support groups to help you work through what you’ve experienced. There is no shame in that. And, if you’ve been hurt by church people let me say that I am so, so sorry! All Christians and churches aren’t bad, I promise. Please remember not to let a few rotten eggs spoil your view of Christianity or church.

Forgiving God?

If you feel as though God has let you down, there’s no easy answer. For ourselves and our inner peace, we may have to go through the process of forgiving God. Yes, I said it.  For all of my Christian friends, yes, God is unfailing and without sin.  But, if we’ve felt let down or betrayed by him, we have to do a work in our own hearts and go through the process to forgive God for wherever we feel He’s let us down.  We have to cleanse our hearts of bitterness.  For everyone,  I’d say to pray sincerely (your prayers matter and God hears them) and read the Bible for yourself. God truly loves you, more than you can imagine. There ARE credible and reliable teachers of the Bible out there. There are radio and TV ministries as well…find the good ones. The more CORRECT teaching you can get about God and the Bible, the better your understanding will be. If you still decide that you hate God and will never trust Him or you just don’t care for Him very much. Okay. But I pray that one day you’ll come to know His immense, intense and unending love for you.

You are loved.
Toodles ♥

Just a few supporting scriptures: John 16:33 and Psalm 34:18 and Philippians 4:7

Image courtesy of  FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Process

Hi everyone! I’m super so-so sorry I’ve been away for a bit. Honestly things have been a teensy bit busy of late. And in my quieter moments, I’ve wanted to write, but, hadn’t the foggiest notion what I could write to inspire you. I definitely didn’t want to write ‘fluff’, but at the same time, I need to continue to hone my writing/blogging skills, so I should be writing more regularly…at least that’s the goal.

So…how’ve you all been? I really want to know, so feel free to send me a note at any time.

Me? I’ve been trying to navigate the mystery that is my life. Haha! Searching for purpose, deeper meaning, etc. By that, I mean I’ve been pretty much bugging God for what I’m supposed to be doing here (I mean…other than the obvious job of being a parent). I think I’m in a season of quiet. Yep, calm, quiet and BORING! Lol. Well, it seems pretty boring especially compared to some other folks I know. BUT,  I just posted on my personal facebook page about how not to compare ourselves with others. It was pretty good, if I must say so myself. Honestly it felt like I was preaching to myself.  And oh boy, I needed it!  So, I can’t really take the credit for it. I totally prayed for what I should write and it just flowed. (Thanks God).

I feel like I’m in God’s waiting room…. or something like that. You know how you’re in the middle of SOMETHING and you can’t figure out what the heck it is, but you know in your gut (and sometimes see little hints) that God is totally in control and he’s working some stuff OUT of you that needs to be out, and INTO you that needs to be in. (I’m pretty sure that was really bad English, but, you get my drift.)

So, that’s where I am. I’m learning to trust the process. Ugh. I don’t like it, but I know the end of this is going to be something really good!

Toodles! ♥

Prayer of the Wounded

This poem came to my heart. It doesn’t rhyme. Its more like thoughts on a page…rather like a prayer and what I’d imagine God’s answer to be.  Some scripture was quoted and with other things I took poetic license.  But from my heart, this is for all who have ever been wounded by a life changing event, or a series of events or circumstances.  If you’ve ever felt like there was no hope or no reason for your suffering, you’re not alone.  I believe that whatever we endure, we must then turn around and help others. God has not forgotten you, nor has he left you.  I’m sorry for whatever any of you have gone through or are going through. But I hope to provide some comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Others have gone through similar.  Let this “poem” represent a collective heart’s cry for all wounded people and let it be a healing salve and a comfort to you in your time of need.

Prayer of the Wounded

Wounded
heart, mind, soul.
Devastated
Like barren, plundered lands.
Abused
Run roughshod over.
Pain
So deep, it’s buried.
When pricked, when unearthed it’s
Excruciating!
I scream!

Heal, Heal, Heal
I say to my soul
The salve is smoothed on
It stings
It gets worse before better.
Bandages, bandages
Change them, reapply salve, wait…

Time
It takes time for deep wounds to heal
Scars
Scars are left
Over time, barely visible.
But they bring to remembrance
A Time
A time of gut-wrenching devastation

Plunder
My soul was plundered
They tried to take it
But I wouldn’t let them.
I fought
I fought hard and
God,
He covered me.
He held out His hand
And he covered the core of my soul.
“No more!” He said.
“No further!” He commanded.
And He picked up the ruins…
The tattered ruins of
Me.
And He cradled me in his arms
My limbs dangling
My body ravaged
My spirit tattered
But my soul, covered by His hand

“I’ve got you baby
I’ve got you
Let me hold you and make you well
Let me heal the devastation in your soul
Let me tend to your wounds
It will take time, my child
Much you have suffered
Much it will take to heal you
But healed you will be
Healed you are
In Me.

Be patient
With yourself
And with others
They may not understand.
But I have set aside a remnant
A few comrades who know first hand
the pain you’ve endured.
They will come along side
And help lift you up, my daughter, my son

Walking will at first be hard
Since your limbs were so weak
But you will regain strength
And be able to walk again
And you will gain more strength
And be able to run again
And you will regain joy
And be able to dance again

Oh thou weary and heavy laden
Come to Me and I will give you rest
And I will give you beauty for your ashes
I will give you the oil of joy for your mourning
And I will replace your heaviness with the ability to praise Me
I will turn your mourning into dancing!
Just you wait and see
I have good things stored up for you
You are my beloved.
You were never alone.
And alone you will never be.”

©  2012″Prayer of the Wounded” by K.D. / http://KDCorner.wordpress.com

The Quiet

The quiet
so soft
so loud
invading my space
i hear the buzz of lights
chirping of crickets
cars driving down the road
but in my house
it’s dark
and quiet
time for sleep
but i’m not yet tired
the glow
of my computer
staring back at me
while i type
words
without rhyme
or reason
or time
just random thoughts
on a page
in these moments of quiet
I find myself
contemplating the universe
asking God questions
letting go
of the act i’ve been playing all day
this is the time
when
I can be myself
i can breathe
i can release
unload … and
unwind
ahhh
goodnight
sweet dreams

© 2012 “The Quiet” by KD / KD Corner

A Poem…A Prayer

Screaming, crying, groaning within
Longing for the greatness
That was deposited within me
Long before I was born
…To manifest itself

Reaching, grasping, stretching
Eager to touch something
That I can connect with
Something that will fuse
With who I am

I long to be
Greatness
I long to be
Shining
I long to be
Full and vibrant and soaring

Yet…how
How do I get there?
I’ve tried ‘this’
I’ve tried ‘that’
When will the dots connect?
When will I have the “a-ha” moment?
When will all things align aright?

God, do you hear my cry?
You filled me with these dreams
You placed something inside of me
That needs to be
Bigger

Something inside of me
That needs to be
Giving
Touching lives beyond myself
Bringing the world hope

Perhaps I cannot see the forest for the trees
Perhaps I’m in the middle of some great plan
That’s forming
And turning
And moving
All around me

I’m integrated into the plan
But because I’m so entrenched in the inner workings
I cannot see the big picture
Yes,
The big picture

You, my Lord, are the Great Artist.
You are forming a masterpiece of my life.
You are molding, firing, glazing
You are painting with little strokes, then big
You are chiseling and sanding

Yes you are making
Me
A Masterpiece

I yield to your hand
I yield to your expertise
I yield to your passion
To your plan
To your vision
Yes, this great longing inside me
Has purpose

I will move with your unction
I will keep trying new things
I will keep reaching out to help others
I will keep creating

And I will trust YOU
To bring to fruition the finished work
And I will gaze in awe
At the Mastery of your hands.

Amen

© Copyright 2012 kdcorner / K.D. “Masterpiece”

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net