Walk Away From The Flames: Stop Burning Yourself

Touchflame but

Why is it that we as people tend to want what’s bad for us? Is it human nature? Is it sin nature? What is it? Whether it be relationships that we KNOW are absolutely destructive and unhealthy… Or environments that are toxic or overly tempting… Or whether it’s gorging ourselves on food that we know is bad for us and we’ll pay for it later…. Or wanting what is forbidden, what is not ours? What is it?

Remember in high school or college, there was that guy or that girl who was pretty good looking, smart, funny, charming… but wasn’t the “bad” boy or the “hot to trot” girl? What about them? Why do we tend to ignore those who could be potentially good, solid, stable people and instead lust for danger, adventure, the ‘high’? But, going for the forbidden is exciting, right?! It’s thrilling! It’s titillating! Now, to clarify, I’m not referring to going for your dreams or taking good risks to reach your goals. That is different. Here, I’m talking about unhealthy choices, about compromising in the wrong direction, about ‘selling your soul’, so to speak. I’m talking about potentially putting ourselves in harm’s way just for the thrill or just to get that ‘thing’ or that ‘person’ or that ‘high’ that we know deep down inside is no good for us.

Are we just thrill seeking? Or are we self-punishing? Is it that somewhere deep in our inmost being we feel we don’t deserve what is good and healthy and stable, etc.? Did something happen to us in our lives a loooong time ago or continuously throughout our lives that warped our perception of what is good vs. bad, healthy vs. unhealthy? Did someone once tell us that we were “less than” or “no good” and that we deserved bad things and we believed it? Were the messages subliminal? Were you somehow made to believe by life, by people, by circumstance that there is nothing you can do to deserve true happiness, so you might as well just ‘flip the bird’ at the world and live with reckless abandon, regardless of the consequences?

Or are you by all appearances happy, but, deep inside there is secretly a void? Yes, outwardly you’re well liked, you are successful in your career, you have a great family, but, secretly you’re hooked on prescription drugs or pain killers? Or nobody would suspect that hidden all around your house are bottles and vials of alcohol because you feel you cannot cope without it because it kills the numbs the unresolved pain you feel inside. Perhaps, although you’re married or committed to a great person, you’ve allowed yourself to be in ‘sabotage mode’ because somewhere along the line you were told “nothing good ever lasts”… so you go ahead and flirt with that coworker and flirting progresses to something more serious. You know it’s wrong, but, you keep telling yourself you don’t deserve happiness anyway. Maybe you’ve always gone after the “players” because they were good looking and exciting, yet you ignore ALL of the obvious signs that he/she is using and cheating on you with multiple people, because you want to be loved… But you went for the “player” because deep inside you didn’t feel like you deserved any better. After all, what ‘good’ happens in life? Or perhaps life has become so bad, that you seek your refuge in food. Food comforts. Food tastes good. Food doesn’t judge you. Food is always there. Food doesn’t disappoint you. But, as a result you pack on the pounds and before you realize it you’ve come to a place physically where you are no longer healthy… and you’re not quite sure how to get back.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? What prohibits us from desiring what is healthy and good? Or what drives us to self-sabotage mode or gets us off track?
Why do we keep ourselves in this cycle? If we keep getting burned, why do we keep going back to touch the flames?

I suspect there are varying reasons as there are varying solutions. But, my heartfelt plea to you if I’ve said something that has spoken to you is this:
YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE LOVEABLE. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY. Stop punishing yourself. Get the help you need to get yourself on the right path. If you need professional help, get it! If the first professional person doesn’t ‘click’ with you, ask around and get GOOD recommendations to find another. But get the help. If this is just a matter of ‘waking up’ to realize where you are, I hope and pray that this small blog post could serve as that wake up call. Stop returning to what is harmful and start moving toward what is healthy. The trouble is that many times, these thought-patterns and behavior-patterns are so deeply ingrained in us that it will likely take some skilled professional counseling to help us rewire our thinking to get to a healthy state. And for addictions of any kind, most definitely professional help is needed and that is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. Taking care of yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. Go for it! Get the help. And I hope that through your journey you come to the place that you will do what is healthy and good for you for your future.

God bless.

© 2014 KD Corner “Walk Away From the Flames: Stop Burning Yourself”

image from Google images

Be Inspired, You Matter

you!

Hi WordPress Family!
I hope all of you have been well.
I began to write today after a stint of silence.
Today, I just wanted to let you know that you matter!
Don’t be tricked into thinking you don’t.

This started out with the intention of being a poem, that turned into a kind of random rambling writing.
But, still, I hope you enjoy!

You can only be you, not somebody else.
So don’t try to be anything but amazing you!
Yes, give ‘props’ to whom ‘props’ are due
But don’t let their looks, their light, their fame
Cast a shadow on your own success, your own dream
We all get intimidated from time to time
We see someone else soaking up all of the limelight
But, why do we let that affect our own personal ‘swag’?

True enough, in life, people seem to ‘have it all’
But we don’t know their back story
We don’t know what they’ve endured to get where they are
We don’t know what keeps them up at night
We don’t realize that they too have insecurities and problems
What’s bad is when people are arrogant, haughty, self-important
And try to berate or diminish others because of their own hidden insecurities
But, still, don’t let them get you down
Focus on your God-given talents. You have them

And do you know what?
They won’t look exactly like “his” or “hers” because they’re YOURS
You are not a clone of anyone else
Let your light shine, dear friend
Let your light shine
You have so much to give
Don’t belittle your own gifting
You may or may not receive fame or proper recognition always
But, look beyond that to the core of the matter
How you can bless and inspire others

There is SOMEONE watching you
Someone watching how you handle yourself
How you overcome adversity
How you persevere
How you treat others
How you act when you think no one is looking

So, let that light inside of you shine BRIGHTLY for the world to see
Let that light shine brighter than ALL of the taunting, laughter, jealousy, hatred
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and STRONG and SMART, no matter what they say.
Here’s what I want you to know…
Whether you’re considered a ‘classic beauty’ or ‘hot’ or not,
You have a unique beauty all your own
You have a voice that no one else has
You have a smile that no one can match
You have a tenacity that is uniquely yours
You have a joy that cannot be taken away
You have a way of making others feel welcomed, that is a rare gift
You have a way about you that is special
You have a talent that cannot be hidden
You have a dream that cannot be squashed

Free yourself from the prison of other people’s opinions
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but,
that doesn’t mean that you have to internalize it, if it tears you down
Speak truth to yourself
You matter

Whether you’re quietly bold, or more outgoing
Don’t wither, don’t cringe, don’t cower because of others.
You’re here for a reason.
There is something that you can do, that is uniquely you
No one else can do it quite like you
Embrace that
and…
Shine.
Shine.
SHINE!
You’re beautiful.

Ps-If you’re being bullied – GO TELL SOMEONE!
You’re too precious to lose.
The National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Songs I like:

Need You Now – Plumb
Headphones – Britt Nicole
Gold – Britt Nicole
Still That Girl – Britt Nicole
I Need a Miracle – Third Day
High School – SuperChic[k]
Suddenly – SuperChic[k]
One and Lonely – SuperChic[k]
So Bright, Stand Up – SuperChic[k]

© 2013 KD Corner / K.D. “Be Inspired, You Matter”
Photo credit: morguefile.com / by Karpati Gabor