Why Do You Worry?

Why Do You Worry?

by Kay Dee

My mind often goes there… It spirals to that place of a million thoughts happening seemingly simultaneously. I tend to worry. I want to blame it on genetics. My mom worries a lot. I might be predisposed to it. But, it’s something I’ve had to learn to manage. When things are out of control in our lives, we tend to like to control as much as we can. For instance, if you’ve experienced trauma at a young age (or at any age really), one way to cope is to control as much as possible going forward so that you prevent yourself from experiencing further trauma. The only problem with that is that there is so much in this life that is outside of our control. And when we cannot control all of the variables of life, it tends to breed anxiousness.

One definition of anxiety is: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. [google]

I tend to get anxious about uncertain outcomes. I want to control the outcome so that it will be a pleasant or happy one. Why do I want happy outcomes? Who doesn’t? But, for me, it is likely because I experienced traumas as a child and as a young adult. These series of events affected me deeply and it took a lot of time to recover from them. Trying to control as much as I could was a safety net for me. It made me feel secure. It made me feel like I could determine how things would progress. Most importantly, it made me feel that I could protect myself from hurt. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Life happened anyway. I had to learn that being anxious for things that hadn’t happened or might not happen only succeeded in making me feel terrible. And I had to learn that there was no possible way to control all outcomes. It was better to learn to enjoy what life had/has to offer and to learn ways to manage my anxious feelings should they arise.

To be honest, it’s something I consistently work on. I don’t have all of the solutions. Different things work for different people. One of the things that helps me is using basic MINDFULNESS techniques. Another thing that helps is reminding myself of TRUE statements to replace/counteract the anxious or fearful statements that arise in my thinking. For me, prayer also helps. My faith is an integral part of who I am, and reminding myself of the truth of scripture and of God’s love helps me to refocus my thinking. During prayer, the statement that frequently comes to mind is “Why do you worry?”. It’s as if God is reminding me that He is in control and I needn’t worry. I have his guidance and peace to accompany me throughout my daily life. This helps.

For some folks, anxiety can be debilitating and more focused, professional treatment may be needed, including counseling/therapy, psychotherapy, medication. There is no shame in any of this. Life is stressful at times and depending on what we’ve been through, what we’re going through currently, and how we have learned to manage and cope with life stresses and events thus far, this will determine how we handle when difficult things arise. You may need more help at certain times than at others. That’s perfectly okay. Love yourself and do right by yourself. You’re the only you that you’ve got. Be kind to yourself and learn to recognize and address your needs. You’re worth it!

Blessings!

LISTEN TO MY PODCAST at anchor.fm/kay-dee7 for more encouragement!

Mindfulness Info HERE

©2018 Life Together with Kay Dee, “Why Do You Worry?”

Random Bits of Wisdom

Random Thoughts:

  • If you don’t deal with your own stuff/issues & keep ignoring them, they’ll seep into every other area of your life.
  • Sometimes you have to be alone to figure out WHO you are, what you want & what’s important to you. It’s in that alone time where you get to know yourself best, because there are no other distractions.
  • Waiting is not fun, but, sometimes it’s the best option. We tend to want everything immediately & immediate gratification is not always best. If we got everything we wanted immediately, (1) we might not be able to handle it all (2) we might not fully appreciate it or know how to take care of it properly (3) we might mess it up.
  • Sometimes when you get back what you lost, you realize that it needed to stay lost.
  • Sometimes lessons learned the hard way are the most lasting & life changing.
  • You have to purposely decide to work on yourself, improve yourself, be your best self. No one can do that for you.
  • You can want the best for someone, but, THEY have to decide to want the best for themselves. You cannot change them.
  • Don’t you love when you finally “get” something you’ve been trying to learn or understand? It’s the best feeling!
  • Oftentimes, it’s not until later in life that you can look back and understand WHY something happened the way it did (or didn’t).
  • Some things we will not understand on this side of heaven.
  • Learning to love yourself and accept yourself is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself.
  • Truly experiencing the love of God is life altering and life-elevating.
  • Stop boxing yourself in. Stop putting limitations on your capabilities and dreams.  You can do infinitely more than you can imagine.
  • When you get knocked down, get back up, dust yourself off, learn the lesson & keep going!
  • When you’re going for your dreams and goals, you may face many hardships & failures along the way. Remember it’s all part of the process & don’t give up.
  • Surround yourself with good people.
  • Some friendships are seasonal. They’re not meant to last forever.  And that’s okay.  Thank God for the blessing of that friendship at the time you needed it.

That’s it for today.  Be blessed folks.

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©2017 Kay Dee Speaks “Random Bits of Wisdom”

Photo courtesy of morguefile.com