I’m a recovering perfectionist. Not in regards to household chores (haha), but, in other areas. I tend to hate my weaknesses because I feel like it gives grounds for people to poke fun at me. I remember once in elementary school, I answered incorrectly to a math question posed by the teacher. The class laughed at me. That made me never want to be laughed at again, so I determined to be right most of the time. I could leave little room for error so there would be minimal chance for embarrassment. I didn’t like the limelight as it was, but, especially not for embarrassing reasons.
Needless to say, I was not able to be correct 100% of the time, not even close, but, still it was ingrained into my personality to be as error-free as possible, if at all possible. Well, with that ‘take’ on life you can become a little bit anal. The bad thing about perfectionism is when you don’t attain a certain goal or level of perfection, you tend to beat yourself up, call yourself names and all sorts of unhealthy negative self-talk which in turn contributes to negative self-esteem.
Today, I read a devotional that spoke of how God doesn’t love us “in spite” of our weaknesses, but, that he loves us WITH our weaknesses and He can “use” our weaknesses for his glory. I’ve heard that before, but, today it had special meaning for me. When you become entrenched in a certain negative way of thinking, you often need to hear healthy messages repeatedly before they actually sink in and can take root & bud into a new and healthy way of thinking.
God is not surprised at my weaknesses. He created me. He knows my good and my bad. My strong points and my weak points. But God can even utilize my weaknesses for good somehow. For instance. I was painfully shy and very quiet growing up. Only in my adulthood did I learn to open up and become more social. But, I would say I’m still a quiet person. I like to people-watch and observe the conversation and behavior of a person. I learn a lot that way. How has this been used for good? For one, personally, I’ve avoided potentially harmful relationships from people-watching. Also, I’ve been able to recognize and befriend other shy people and be the person that helps get them out of their shell a little bit. Being a quiet person, I’ve been the confidant of many a person who knows that I will not go out and blab their personal business to the world at large. And I’ve been able to share with certain folks how there is an advantage to sometimes being a good listener more so than a talker, on certain occasions.
My perfectionistic tendencies? Well, if properly channeled, it translates to my ability to pay attention to detail which has been very useful in organizational jobs and tasks both personally and professionally.
Your flaws or weaknesses (notice I didnt say sicknesses) can even be used in a positive way. God loves you. He made you. You’re beautiful.