Why Do You Worry?

Why Do You Worry?

by Kay Dee

My mind often goes there… It spirals to that place of a million thoughts happening seemingly simultaneously. I tend to worry. I want to blame it on genetics. My mom worries a lot. I might be predisposed to it. But, it’s something I’ve had to learn to manage. When things are out of control in our lives, we tend to like to control as much as we can. For instance, if you’ve experienced trauma at a young age (or at any age really), one way to cope is to control as much as possible going forward so that you prevent yourself from experiencing further trauma. The only problem with that is that there is so much in this life that is outside of our control. And when we cannot control all of the variables of life, it tends to breed anxiousness.

One definition of anxiety is: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. [google]

I tend to get anxious about uncertain outcomes. I want to control the outcome so that it will be a pleasant or happy one. Why do I want happy outcomes? Who doesn’t? But, for me, it is likely because I experienced traumas as a child and as a young adult. These series of events affected me deeply and it took a lot of time to recover from them. Trying to control as much as I could was a safety net for me. It made me feel secure. It made me feel like I could determine how things would progress. Most importantly, it made me feel that I could protect myself from hurt. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Life happened anyway. I had to learn that being anxious for things that hadn’t happened or might not happen only succeeded in making me feel terrible. And I had to learn that there was no possible way to control all outcomes. It was better to learn to enjoy what life had/has to offer and to learn ways to manage my anxious feelings should they arise.

To be honest, it’s something I consistently work on. I don’t have all of the solutions. Different things work for different people. One of the things that helps me is using basic MINDFULNESS techniques. Another thing that helps is reminding myself of TRUE statements to replace/counteract the anxious or fearful statements that arise in my thinking. For me, prayer also helps. My faith is an integral part of who I am, and reminding myself of the truth of scripture and of God’s love helps me to refocus my thinking. During prayer, the statement that frequently comes to mind is “Why do you worry?”. It’s as if God is reminding me that He is in control and I needn’t worry. I have his guidance and peace to accompany me throughout my daily life. This helps.

For some folks, anxiety can be debilitating and more focused, professional treatment may be needed, including counseling/therapy, psychotherapy, medication. There is no shame in any of this. Life is stressful at times and depending on what we’ve been through, what we’re going through currently, and how we have learned to manage and cope with life stresses and events thus far, this will determine how we handle when difficult things arise. You may need more help at certain times than at others. That’s perfectly okay. Love yourself and do right by yourself. You’re the only you that you’ve got. Be kind to yourself and learn to recognize and address your needs. You’re worth it!

Blessings!

LISTEN TO MY PODCAST at anchor.fm/kay-dee7 for more encouragement!

Mindfulness Info HERE

©2018 Life Together with Kay Dee, “Why Do You Worry?”

Why Do You Worry? A Poem

kettle

Why Do You Worry – by K.D.

Thoughts
Problems
Concerns
Cares
Worries
Bubble inside
Low rumble
More heat
Full rolling boil
From boil to steam whistling as through a kettle
It’s steamy scream escaping into the air
What will I do?
How will I handle?
How will I get the money?
We can’t afford this?
How will we make it?
When will the results/mail/answer/letter come?
What if…?

Then a hand takes the kettle off of the fire
And places it somewhere to cool
The boiling immediately stops
And slowly the water’s temperature begins to lower
And a voice says calmly, yet with authority
“Why do you worry?”

This voice has the power to calm
With one small question.
My mind goes immediately to the One who spoke…
God

I’m quiet

In an instant I remember
He has always taken care of our needs
He has never left us
He has always made a way out of no way
He has commanded me to cast my worries onto Him
He won’t leave me now
He hears my prayers
He is my provider
My heavenly Father in whom I must continue to trust
He is faithful
Amen.

© 2013 KD Corner “Why Do You Worry?”

Photo Credit: morguefile.com – solrac_gi_2nd

Confessions of a Worrywart

Hi, my name is K. and I’m a worrywart.  Not proud of it.  I wonder if it’s genetic.  My mom worries a lot.  And yes, it’s easier to pin the blame on genetics.  I don’t even know if it’s possible to pass on the tendency to worry.  I do believe that worry can definitely can be a learned response.  It can also be part of our individual make up…how our minds work.  In any case, yes, I worry.  I often feel guilty about it, being a Christian and all.  God continuously admonishes us who believe, not to worry.  Why? Because He has everything under control…even if it appears otherwise.

When did I realize I had a tendency to worry?  Hmm… it had to be in my teens.  I would worry about what to wear.. if it looked stupid, if people would laugh at me, if the guy(s) would like me, if I would say the right thing(s).  That may be common to most teenagers.  But, as I grew older and life happened, I realized that it was hard for me to not mull things over, and over, and over… you get the picture.  I think that partially this is because trust is a hard thing for me.  Like you, I’ve been disappointed a time or two.  Mine were major disappointments that dealt with abandonment by people who were dearly loved and trusted.  So, I remember deciding after the first major disappointment that I could trust no one. And so I didn’t.  Everyone had their level or their limit – the amount which I decided to trust them.  When they reached that limit, I would go no further.

This anti-trust attitude, unfortunately, carried over to my relationship with God.  It’s hard for me to trust Him.  After all, I can’t physically see Him.  And I had felt like He’d let me down a time or two.  Over the years, I’ve deepened in my faith and I’m deepenING in my level of trust toward God.  Yes “-ING” (i.e. still in process).  But, one thing I’ve learned about God for myself is that He is trustworthy.  I can honestly say, He’s been there for me always.  He’s never left.  I’ve always felt His presence in my life.  Even when I’ve screwed up royally, His love was there to envelop me.

The thing I think that is most challenging about my personality is that I like to be in control.  Let me explain.  I like to know everything that’s going on before it happens.  Or at least I’d like an outline of how life is going to go.  I’m a “details” person. Tell me step-by-step how this is going to go, so that I can be prepared for whatever life throws at me.  And, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) that’s not how life works.  It works quite the opposite most of the time.  So, I’ve had to learn and am still learnING that no matter what happens – good, bad or indifferent, God is never leaving me.  He’s with me in the midst of all phases of life.  I’m not alone in this process.  So, knowing that helps me to worry a little less and a little less as time goes by.  Am I fully delivered from worry?  Nope.  But I am getting there. 🙂  Toodles! ♥

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net